THE BIGGER PICTUREIt is an undeniable fact that each one of us is going to die.While most everything else in our life has a potential to be unpredictable, death is quite certain.
Our lives are temporary. We are completely vulnerable. And while this is a wonderful quality of being human, most of us are terrified of it.
Many people feel that death makes life meaningless. Within a moment, our thoughts, efforts and particular manners come to an end, mocking any perception that we were once or ever could be in charge.
From this perspective, we feel deeply powerless - a helplessness confirmed daily by our current, mediocre society.
In fact, one might say it is our collective anxiety about death that has given rise to many of the world's religions.
Over the centuries, indeed millennia, we have tried to comfort ourselves with thoughts of an everlasting life after death or an unending cycle of re-births. The focus is for eternal happiness or bliss somewhere other than where it is we currently live.
Although most of our spiritual teachings were meant to improve our present lives, our religions have, more than anything, handed down to us a preoccupation with the event of dying rather than an obsession for living.
In an attempt to give meaning to the end, we have forgotten to offer real importance to the current moment.
The fear of our own mortality has had profound effects, including shutting us down to a state of neglecting our own health and welfare.
We stop seeking support and attention for ourselves, both physically and emotionally. Fears of illness and death stop us from pursuing information and intervention, while fears that we might be insignificant prevent us from building challenging and meaningful relationships.
In the end, we become paralysed in our ability to confront and take charge of our vulnerabilities.
Then there is the deeply painful experience of living through the death of someone we have loved - feeling the pain of her or his absence from our day-to-day lives. This pain makes us want to make time stand still, close ourselves off from all new encounters and freeze the natural progression of life.
It is here that we find our religions most helpful - promising us a moment when we will see them again, reassuring us that they are at peace.
The pain we feel at the loss of a loved one, however, is a monument to the meaning they had in our lives. It is an important and valuable pain that is testament of their significance to us, and our significance to others. It is a pain that, when felt fully, can in fact lead us to the next moment - the opportunity to find new people to love, the chance to grow and develop.
More than anything, our experience of death has the potential to lead us more fully to life.
There is a real value to our mortality. If we really thought about it, believed in it, it could give us a chance to come alive. We could feel everything about our world, make full use of all our senses. We could participate fully in living, focusing on each moment, deciding how we wished to spend it and moving willingly into the next.
We could make significant choices about how and with whom we will spend time and who it is we want to be.
We would have the chance to really take note of what we think is meaningful and put it into action every moment of everyday.
Above all else, it is the fact of our mortality that has the ability to bring real meaning to life. People who have nearly escaped death report the value of having gained this new perspective to life.
Many older people, faced with the nearness of their own end, talk about their new appreciation for living. "Life is not a rehearsal," they tell us. "This is it. Live it as you wish the first time."
Understanding we are mortal means acknowledging that things will end. There is a limit. Our time is not indefinite. Things change, develop, grow and ebb. Life is in movement.
We have the chance to make our lives precious - to confront every moment of every day, fully and simply, with the fullness of our awareness.
When we focus on the present, suddenly time opens up. It slows down for our enjoyment. Every moment is an experience - an opportunity to learn, a chance to be well spent.
Given how dominant hopelessness is in our society, you might find it strange that I think real empowerment can come from knowing that we will die.
However, contrary to the obsession of hypochondriacs, it is very unlikely that this death is near. Yet, it is coming. The question is, can we learn to believe in this end now so that we live as we want, happily, for the rest of our many days?
Shalini Sinha is an independent producer, counsellor and journalist. She is a consultant on equality issues and has lectured on Women's Studies in UCD. She co-presents Mono, RTÉ's intercultural programme.