Tom Hyland
Co-ordinator of East Timor Ireland Solidarity Campaign
Causes of stress
I can face a lot of difficult situations, but the one thing that stresses me out completely is getting on an aeroplane. It starts one or two days before I get the flight.
The cause that I'm involved in is on the other side of the world, and East Timor is the only thing that would ever get me on a plane.
Sometimes I make it as far as Frankfurt or Amsterdam and won't be able to complete the rest of the journey. If there's a long wait, the fear grows and I end up coming back home by rail and boat. People who travel with me know that if it's a 12-hour flight from London to Singapore, I won't exchange one word with them. I just sit there in absolute terror for the whole journey, and the time goes oh so slowly.
I'm not a good person to sit beside if you're on a plane, because people pick up on the body language of somebody who's very stressed out. Flying is the nearest thing to torture I've experienced. I feel every little bump.
My fear is that I'm in a situation I can't control. I'm in a confined space that I'm not meant to be in. It's unnatural. I've been in a few situations that have terrified not only me but other people on board. After what happened in America, I think I would be a little bit worse.
Coping with stress
I haven't managed to conquer or control my fear of flying, but it's probably because Timor means so much to me that I've been willing to suffer. Timor is the wind beneath my wings! I don't think there's any medication I haven't taken, from handfuls of Valium to herbal remedies. Nothing has ever relaxed or calmed me.
The Timorese laugh at me blessing myself when the plane takes off, but religion is a stress reliever. I don't think I've quite found faith. I'm so envious of people who have, because they've found peace.
I'm reading a lot about Buddhism at the minute. I'm trying to find a balance between Christianity and Buddhism. Buddhism to me is where you can throw off the pressures of the world. Buddhists tend to have an aura about them. I've been to a Buddhist retreat in Co Clare, and I thought, look at me, now I'm surrounded by Buddhists and I'm still stressed out!
Fighting for rights
With the work I do, sometimes you read something in the papers or hear something on the radio that you know to be patently false, and you feel a little bit powerless.
Injustice pains me enormously, but it doesn't stress me, because I know I have a contribution to make towards the ending of that. There are sad things about being involved in human rights, but the job itself is actually counteracting that, so you're doing something positive and making a contribution.
In conversation with Mary Minihan