Youth Drinking: Haydn Shaughnessy shared a glass with students who feel sensible drinking messages should be directed elsewhere
The ancient Mayans revered it so much they took it in enema form to maximise its effectiveness. In Egypt, of old, a man could be hung for adulterating it. The Egyptians buried it with their mummies to provide a source of eternal joy. French prisoners in the scond World War planned parties around a thimble full. Elephants have been known to stampede when they get a whiff of it. Birds seek out fermented berries on the floor.
We in contrast have a tendency to lash it down without it touching our necks. And increasingly children of 12 and 13 are doing it too, ending their sorry nights soiled and sick.
It, of course, is alcohol. Traditionally its power to alter minds has been a source of reverence and old-fashioned wonder. Where have we gone wrong?
To discuss the ravages of drink on our young, we organised a safe drinking class at University College Cork and asked student volunteers to listen to a lecture on the benefits and pleasure of informed, moderate drinking.
We checked before starting that no student was driving that day, that they had no allergies to wine, and that this was not their first introduction to alcohol.
After a tasting of a small range of wines, mediocre to excellent, we listened to their views on where we could all help shape a better drinking culture. And to stories of how kids their age and children far younger can get so hammered it almost defies belief.
Like the 13-year-old girl that one of our students picked up from the gutter, a bottle of vodka tucked into her stomach queuing for any kind of exit route. "I've known her since she was a baby," our student told us. "She wasn't capable of recognising who I was."
To help frame a safe drinking mentality Monica Murphy, head of research at Febvre wine merchants in Dublin, gave a talk on the art of wine production and consumption. She described the eccentric and dedicated nature of winemakers including one who plays Mozart to his vines in the summer months when the staff are on holiday, lest the little grapes feel lonely.
And the process of tasting wine. The visual approach to the glass and its captive. A good wine will show shades of colour against a white background, light at the edges, firming up at the core. A wine should have good legs. Swirl it around and look at the slow drip back down the glass. And on the nose, the first sniff will always give the best indication of its quality. On the palette the search for the four tastes: sweet, sour, salt, bitter. It is rare for students to pay such close attention.
They tasted seven bottles in all and turned out to be merlot lovers on the reds, and, spoiled by a beautiful Sancerre, Loire lovers on the whites.
Would they find it of interest to acquire more knowledge about wines and spend their evenings occasionally pursuing this knowledge along with good food? The answer was a universal yes. Every single student wanted a better drinking and eating life.
But, our students told us, we're targeting the wrong people with our safe drinking lesson. It's the kids we should be talking to. Children of 12 and 13 who get 18-year-olds to buy booze for them or who manage to get hold of an ID card for the night.
Eighteen and 19-year-olds are extremely conscious and upfront about a serious alcoholism problem in Ireland, starting with children barely into secondary school. Whereas the adults among us may see this as a fringe problem, one of those scruffy extremes that needs a tidy up, younger people don't duck the issue. "Alcoholism used to be hidden away in the home. In the small village in the country you wouldn't do too much in the pub because of what people would say so you did the serious drinking at home."
So what's changed to a certain extent is that alcoholism is more public.
Government anti-drink advice adverts? Students find them hopelessly outdated and condescending.
But young people. Kids whose teenage years are being destroyed by drink? This is surely new. A failure of parenting and teaching, and a breakdown in whatever social values that in years gone by assured the pre-teens that a restrained way of life is an attractive option.
Listening to young people talk about it there are a few pointers to how it might be dealt with.
First our students readily accept that their own behaviour is a role model for the early teens. Drink culture in late teens has to be addressed and proper role models established.
There was a consensus too that parents, schools and the Government have a responsibility to address the issue of safe drinking at an early stage in a child's life. Surprisingly, about half of our students had been introduced to alcohol early on but in a controlled environment under parental supervision.
This is perhaps the most controversial aspect of drinking in Ireland.
Is an intelligent approach to drink a possible way forward? Two of the lads said Cork pubs that now sell speciality beers experience less out and out drunkenness. Those who drink wine, in UCC's Slow Food club, moderate their drinking, at least while food is on the table.
There is on obvious enthusiasm for a better standard of leisure and relaxation among students. But for as long as teenage years hold up excess as a model way of becoming adult, the early teens will continue to follow. One lesson from our safe drinking class is there's a lot of work that needs doing, now.