Ali Bracken reports on a new sexual revolution by our nation's young adults. It's called chastity.
Apparently, men think about it every seven seconds whereas women contemplate it less but romanticise it more. Some people (mostly men) spend their whole lives in pursuit of it while a few (mostly women) never achieve climax.
Sex is everywhere and its imagery is used to influence our every consumer need. While Ireland may have missed the sexual revolution of the 1960s, nowadays we like to consider ourselves sexually liberated beings borne of the Celtic Tiger.
Yet, some young adults in Ireland are rebelling against modern Ireland's attitude to sex by deciding to remain celibate until marriage.
Scott Evans (23), from Wicklow, says living a chaste life in Ireland today is testing and he's often told that he's missing out. He made the decision at age 17 but at times has found it trying, to say the least. "I want really good sex but I want it in the context of real love and desire," he says. "I'm not denying myself anything, I'm holding out for phenomenal sex."
Currently single, Evans says it's been difficult in the past to stop his relationships from going to the next level. "I've been in relationships that I've really desired to have sex and it's been a real struggle. I've pushed boundaries that I shouldn't have."
To avoid temptation, Evans says he discusses boundaries with girlfriends early on in the relationship and that nowadays he's only comfortable with kissing. "Otherwise, things can snowball . . . my hope is that the only person who sees me naked is my wife."
Edel McGovern (28), a secondary school teacher from Dublin, has also chosen to remain chaste until her wedding night. "To me, being chaste is synonymous with being happy.
"The commitment has to come before you get involved in that way. Sex is then the expression of this love and commitment. I think it's important to be idealistic. If everyone did things this way, it'd be a wonderful world."
McGovern, also single at the moment, says that people have forgotten about the mystery and allure created when you choose to wait. "It's the most romantic thing you can do."
McGovern is involved with Youth 2000, a Catholic youth group with about 700 members in Ireland. Evans works full-time for the non-denominational Christian group, Authentic Youth. The group travels around the country visiting schools, youth centres and retreats teaching people the Christian message.
While McGovern and Evans say their decision to remain chaste stems from their faith, it's equally a personal choice based on self-respect. But without the support from their peers in their respective religious groups, both doubt if they could stick to their decisions.
"It's extremely hard for human beings to live a chaste life. We're sexual beings . . . It's definitely difficult if not impossible if you're not getting strength from somewhere," explains McGovern.
Evans does sometimes worry about the prospect of never meeting the woman he wants to marry and therefore never losing his virginity.
"There are a limited amount of people who feel the same about life and sex as I do . . . I know some people who share my beliefs who are now in their 30s and haven't found the person for them."
But despite the odd niggling worry, Evans is steadfast in his view - "I don't want a test drive" - and is looking forward to marital sex only. And the possibility of sexual incompatibility with his future wife isn't really a concern. "That's really putting a priority on the physical act. And I think that kissing and being affectionate can be a good indicator of what the sex will be like."
McGovern and Evans are surprised that some people may have had upwards of 20 sexual partners and believe that rushing into sex can have a destructive, damaging long-term impact. "I know people whose self-esteem has been affected by sleeping around," says McGovern. "A lot of women are used as sex objects."
And with pre-marital sex, says Evans, comes a whole array of potential problems like sexually transmitted infections (STIs), feelings of guilt and shame and "people using sex as a weapon" where emotional strength doesn't exist between the couple.
The media, advertising and TV have a lot to answer for in terms of the pressure they put on young people to be sexually active and attractive, according to Evans.
"We're bombarded with sexual images. Some of the magazines are particularly bad. They can encourage feelings of inadequacy if people don't look perfect, this can lead to eating disorders and abuse of drink and drugs."
None of Evans or McGovern's previous partners have had a problem with their decision to remain chaste because they've generally dated like-minded people. "Some people are certainly surprised. But the guys I've met, all of them have said, 'I respect that,'" says McGovern.
Evans says that while sexual impulses and urges are unavoidable, he tries not to act on them. "It's a constant journey and struggle. But it's not self-flagellation," he says. "Sex should be the climax of intimacy. I believe physical intimacy should run parallel with emotional intimacy. For me, that can only happen in marriage."
For information on Authentic Youth, visit www.scriptureunion.ie