New Lives:A mother and daughter team teach how a more positive approach to life is a big help, writes Sylvia Thompson
Mention the positive thinking approach developed by American self-help guru Louis Hay to anyone these days and you are most likely to get a negative comment on how superficial, stupid, naive or even dangerous it is.
Not so from mother and daughter duo Manda Talbot-Brady (70) and Alison Talbot-Brady (40) who give workshops on the approach and believe that when used sincerely, it can bring about all kinds of changes in your life.
"People who say, I was thinking positively and I found a parking space - that's rubbish. But if you meditate on change, remain focused and have realistic expectations, you will see a gradual change in your life," says Manda, who not only teaches the approach but also follows it in her everyday life.
Despite her advocacy of Louis Hay's positive thinking approach to life, it was only when she was coming up to retiring from her post as resource teacher in St Brigid's Girls National School, Cabinteely, Dublin, did she consider training in the approach.
Her second of three daughters Alison, who had introduced her mother to the Louis Hay books and tapes, thought she might too, even though she wasn't initially drawn to the whole approach.
"Someone gave me a Louis Hay tape when I was about 23 and living in England," says Alison. "I didn't like the concepts - you create your own reality, you're responsible for your own life and the key to change is to accept and love yourself deep down. But [in spite of this] I started to practise the affirmations and focused on what I did want in life, rather than what I didn't want and things began to change."
Having trained and worked in the beauty and body therapy business in Ireland and England, Alison moved to live in Sydney for five years.
Back in Ireland, she trained as a counsellor and hynotherapist and was working in Galway when the opportunity arose to become a Louis Hay trainer.
So in 1999, mother and daughter went on the week-long residential training course run by facilitators who travelled from the United States to give the course.
"It was expensive and the trainers were over the top. We came out of it and said we wouldn't take it any further," says Manda.
But they did. And now the mother and daughter duo host Louis Hay workshops in various places around the country. While Manda gives workshops in Dublin, Alison gives private sessions in counselling and hypnotherapy in Salthill, Galway.
Is it difficult to work together as a mother and daughter team?
"I feel it has enhanced our relationship," says Alison. Manda agrees. "I feel it has enhanced all the relationships in the family. I never tell my daughters what to do. I try to see the best in people. I'm so grateful that I'm well at my age."
On a deeper level, Manda strongly believes that daily meditation and prayers, derived both from Louis Hay affirmations and tapes from the late Jesuit spiritual leader Anthony De Mello, have given her a way to cope with her own life.
"I grew up in Ballybunion, Co Kerry. I was a daydreamer and talked to the sea as a little girl. I studied primary school teaching in Carysfort College, Blackrock and got married and had three children," she explains.
"I was completely unprepared for marriage and children and found it an awesome responsibility. I got married thinking I was going on a romantic adventure but my husband was a daydreamer too who didn't see any problems."
Manda separated from her husband, who has since died, when their three girls were young. "I found an anchor in Anthony De Mello's teachings. I was a really wild person who wanted to do ordinary things like other families but couldn't. But I ate and slept De Mello. I was full of guilt as a wife and a mother, but De Mello said guilt was for the birds.
"I now love and accept myself as I am. Even when I was having my photograph taken for this article, I was saying to myself, 'I'm happy, peaceful and serene'."
Since her retirement, Manda has also set up a walking club, a golf society and spends her summers in France.
Alison is at an earlier stage in life and finds her work as a counsellor and hypnotherapist fulfilling and challenging.
Recently, she completed a diploma in theology at National University of Ireland Galway, following on from earlier studies in theology at the Jesuit Manresa Foundation for Spirituality in Dollymount, Dublin.
"Hypnotherapy, meditation, yoga, affirmations. The basis of all this work is deeply spiritual," she says. "A lot of people come to me because they want to let go of negative thoughts and become more positive. Others come because they need help with building their confidence in public speaking, meeting people, mixing with their workmates. I also work with businesses encouraging staff motivation."
Speaking about her own search for meaning, she adds: "I think many people have a problem with the messengers. I'm equally happy with Buddhist and Christian teachings. They are all talking about the same thing - getting in touch with your inner voice and your own guidance. Important things start to happen when you listen to your inner voice."