Susan Hayden has a tough couple of weeks as Tim gets an itchy rash and Susan gets no sleep. However, a taste of freedom is only a solo drive away.
Tim has had a difficult two weeks overall. A rash appeared on his face Saturday a fortnight ago. It drove him demented and made him start waking when he should have been sleeping. I took him to see the GP, who said it was probably a heat rash.
While there, she checked him thoroughly and discovered a tiny heart murmur. I returned home shaken and traumatised, convinced I was a rotten mother for having over-heated my baby.
We returned to the doctor the next day to give her a urine sample - a check to see if Tim had a kidney infection.
She had given me a complicated looking plastic bag thing to catch his urine in. The technique was simple.
Slip the hole of the bag over the penis and stick it down on his skin, put on the nappy and the urine would be captured in the bag when he peed next.
The reality went something like this. Clean the nappy area, apply Vaseline, curse when sticky part of bag won't stick because of Vaseline, decide to go ahead anyway and hope for the best, put on nappy, put baby on knee to feed, feel sudden heat on stomach and realised baby has peed on mother because bag has fallen off just enough to re-direct pee out of nappy.
Feel like a rotten (and stupid) mother all over again.
The doctor said the rash should disappear in a couple of days. Six days later, the rash was still in force, and all over his head.
We called the National Maternity Hospital (NMH) which also said it was a heat rash, and then the public health nurse, who thought it could be eczema.
At this stage, I was in a state because I didn't know what to think and the itchiness of the rash meant that neither Tim nor I were getting much sleep.
Luckily, two friends came to the rescue and convinced me that whatever it was would not kill Tim. I went to the chemist with one of them in search of something to alleviate the itching, but because he is under three months, there is little that can be done.
By Saturday, the rash was still there, and I was still fraught so Michael and I took Tim to the NMH, where a viral infection was diagnosed.
Again, we were told there was nothing we could do about it.
It was EU accession day, so after the hospital visit, we took Tim off in search of a riot. Unfortunately, we were 12 hours too early, but we had a great time gathering literature and looking at the different stands.
In spite of all his irritations, Tim gave us his first non-wind-induced smile when he was a month old.
We also took our first drive by ourselves. I had carefully stuck a mirror to the back window so I could see him - it's like looking at him through the wrong end of a telescope - I can tell that he hasn't managed to undo the straps, open the car door and get out, but that is all!
Once the first drive was over, the world opened up. Being able to go for a drive means more adult company is possible, less holding is required, Tim sleeps more and I get a bit of a break.
The taste of freedom also encourages other tastes of freedom, like having a good strong cup of black coffee, when I know I shouldn't - but for the sake of sanity, break-outs like that are essential.
We drove to my parents' home for Dad's birthday, and had a great day. Tim met our dog, Daisy, for the first time and they hit it off. Prevented from licking Tim's face, Daisy enthusiastically licked his hands instead until stopped from doing that too.
She then sat down under a chair in the room he was sleeping in and babysat him - a Jack Russell trait apparently.
My aunt, uncle and cousins came over at the weekend and we also went to visit Tim's paternal grandparents, and his great-aunt called over.
Although still 'the baby', it's like he was never not part of the family.
Susan Hayden is an Irish Times staff member - her column appears fortnightly.