MIND MOVES Marie Murray: 'School days are the happiest days of your life". Adults alone believe this cliche.
Try convincing any Leaving Cert student this week that they are having the best of times, when the reality for many is that they are experiencing the worst time. Doing exams is inevitably stressful.
Exams are a worry for those who have studied, hoping that they will show what they know. They are even more stressful for those who didn't study, thinking that they may have sabotaged themselves this time. If you are one of those students don't give up. It is amazing what can be achieved in "no" time if you go for it totally now.
There are many students who have to contend with significant additional stresses in their Leaving Cert year with chronic illnesses such as asthma, diabetes, epilepsy, chronic fatigue, acute anxiety, panic and the depths of depression.
Some students battle with visual and hearing challenges. Others have written language disorders like dyslexia, dysgraphia. These specific learning difficulties often require a different approach to learning that add strain to day-to-day school life and need special arrangements for exams. There are also immigrant students who are making both cultural, language and learning shifts. That can't be easy.
If you are a student battling against the odds then look at what you have achieved so far: you are already successful.
Each year there are students who encounter accident, illness, injury, incapacity or family circumstances that may impose sadness, stress or suffering. These may include illness or death: the loss of a grandparent, a parent, a sibling or friend during the school year and the concomitant grief and mourning at what is already a difficult transitional time.
Recent times have made us starkly aware of the courage required by such students. We are behind you this year as we also remember your friends who will not be sitting the exam with you. Just do what you can.
Some students this year, as every year, will confront the grief of parental separation and divorce and all the changes these events entail. The triple adjustments, of new parental circumstances, educational transition and academic stress, is difficult for them and exams can sharpen the focus on their plight.
Finally, there are the repeat students. This group is sometimes regarded as least likely to be stressed. They will tell you the reverse is so. While it might appear that repeating would carry the benefit of having been through the process before, it usually puts greater pressure on students to succeed which makes the exam even more problematic second time round.
The reasons why a student is repeating usually determine expectations of the repeat results. Reasons beyond a student's control are less stressful than if the student simply did not study last time and now has to prove that he or she did study this time round. What if a paper goes wrong? Will anyone believe them they really worked this time?
Those who did well last time have the stress of repeating for a just few extra points: this exerts phenomenal pressure because in any exam the higher percentages are always the hardest to win. Self-esteem and academic credibility are at stake. That's a lot of additional sweat.
Some repeat students feel guilty that their parents endured the financial burdens of another educational year. They are terrified that they will disappoint parents who made sacrifices a second time. Others feel they will never catch up with their peers who are out in the world working or doing college exams.
Some repeaters find, to their horror, that little brother or sister are now also sitting the exam, making the repeat student out of synchrony both with peer group and family position. The students who panicked last time may be terrified it will happen again.
Finally, there are always the "anniversary" memories of those for whom sad circumstances struck last year. The old emotions can return and make a student feel as if they are still back there.
Exams confront us with our worst fears: that we are not good enough, that we will be "found out" or that we will not live up to others' expectations.
So how can parents support repeat students? Parents know what their children need. If events last year were distressing they will remind the student how normal it is to be upset remembering that time. If a student felt mentally unable to do the exam, parents will emphasise how grateful they are that the student is feeling better now.
The student seeking higher marks will be assured that parents know exams don't always yield the desired results.
Parents know that students battling against the odds need even more support and that those most stressed need most. They know that parental love, realistic expectations, appropriate assurances and simple perspectives are the best parental exam gifts a student can receive.
The Leaving Cert is much more complex than an exam and much less crucial than we imagine. It can seem like the end of the world. It's just the end of this academic year. It is an exam. Good luck to all.
For further information Surviving The Leaving Cert: Points of Parents published by Veritas.