THE BIGGER PICTURE: What things really matter in life? Our lives can go by so fast, increasingly we haven't a moment to notice. We work longer for less. We are more in fear now than ever of violence against our person and society. We have access to more ways to kill each other - more quickly, more at a time and from farther away.
We seem to accept the idea that success is based on doing something for less money, even if it requires more labour for which we will pay less, by replacing one human with a machine or 10 humans with a very overworked one.
We are increasingly asked not only to lower our expectations, but also to limit our imagination. At this point in history, hope is considered foolhardy, and certainly no virtue.
But, no matter how quickly life goes by and how frequently the gears of the rat race turn, there are some things that fundamentally matter to people, and which are currently, habitually, forgotten or hidden away.
One of these things is the realisation of our potential, including the risk to believe in ourselves. When asked what really matters, the most common answer given, however, is "health". And, while the focus is usually our actual physical health, it is, in fact, our mental health that has a much greater impact.
In this, the quality of our relationships is most important - measured less by how much we like or love someone, and more by how we are able to move in and offer warmth and support when things are hard. The quality and effectiveness of our social relationships is probably the single most important factor affecting mental health.
Another misconception is that good mental health can be defined by one's appearance to "function". Rather, perhaps it is better assessed by our ability to take risks for the good of others - to give shelter to someone in pain regardless of how difficult or unpopular; to move in close to and stand beside those who are isolated because of society's cruel and rigid requirements to conform.
Our ability to take such risks comes from a strong bed of self-love and expression, regardless of whether that expression is currently modelled or praised in society.
Although strong mental health is commonly judged by whether or not one can keep a straight face in public, sometimes this skill in itself nurtures our deep struggles with isolation, hopelessness and powerless, resulting in a diminished sense of self worth and greater internal anxiety.
Sometimes, those who are unable to "appear" to be coping are able to do exactly what is needed for them to face and come through their struggle.
Probably a better definition of mental health is the ability to face and come through stress, fear, pain and anxiety, regardless of what the process of dealing with it, feeling it, learning from it, and building a future through it "looks" like.
So much of what we struggle with in this society involves appearance. Few of us realise how deeply the marketing campaigns of capitalism wound us - creating caricatures of strength and happiness, having no substance or resemblance of reality. As a result, we are addicted to fashion, alcohol, cigarettes and pretence, developed under an intense pressure to appear a certain way.
Although real pain, sorrow, grief and heartache are inevitable in a life that embraces love, joy, learning and deep connections, the expression of such pains is feared. We believe that people are "out of control", "untrustworthy", "irrational" or "ugly". Our professionals prescribe us drugs to induce numbness, neutrality, rationality, and a placid, even appearance.
Ultimately, with the economy as paramount, we haven't the time for processing grief - time away from work, time in receipt of intense social and emotional compassion, time to look a mess, time to be incensed, time to develop new perspectives on present and future connections having experienced real loss, and time to grow and renew. We certainly don't want to have to look at it.
It's true, many people around at present do feel burdened by someone in pain. Even worse, many more feel frightened. What if this pain is acted out as violence? What if it touches my own latent, unprocessed experiences of grief? What if we can't "cope"?
But human beings were designed to cope. We have built-in mechanisms to process stress, including our mysterious abilities to cry, shake, yawn and produce a cold sweat.
We have an inexplicable skill to develop new thoughts and perspectives, and make profound decisions.
We have a deep instinct and yearning to meet in groups, connect with and love each other.
And, when you apply each of these physical, intellectual and social powers together, you find we have the capability to face anything.
Shalini Sinha is an independent producer and journalist, and a counsellor on equality issues. She has lectured on women's studies in UCD and is co-presenter of Mono, RTÉ's intercultural programme.