The Bigger Picture: We have a problem in this society: all our socialising centres around alcohol. It is undeniable, yet we defend it and see it as normal. Every event, big or small, includes this drug as a matter of course.
We define our adulthood, even our nation, by it. And our children watch and understand more than we think.
We often judge "maturity" by one's ability to drink alcohol and pretend it has no impact. Thus, half (if not all) of the goal is to nurture pretence: this is not a drug, I am not affected, I just like the taste.
While many people do like the taste, non-alcoholic versions of a drink have never become popular. It's the drug that makes us feel grown up.
We are able to "handle responsibility", if only to throw it away. It's the drug we want, and that's exactly what our children notice.
In this society, we consistently demonstrate that there is no "adult" way to socialise without drugs. Whether we argue that alcohol should be the centre of a function, or simply an aside engaged in moderation, we never question its presence.
Thus, rather than teaching our children how to drink responsibly, we expose our own inabilities to interact with each other, relax or have fun without drugs.
While we fight for and defend it, they see the truth. It is this lesson that causes such destruction.
It is no coincidence that our tourist and entertainment industries provide no other social venues for families except pubs.
Our capitalists know that nothing earns a profit greater than a market addicted to a drug. Dependency ensures repeat sales of a cheap product at exaggerated prices. A venue that would provide music, food, games or an opportunity to talk - without the drug - could never show as high a return.
It is our addiction that inspires us to fight over how late to have our children in pubs, rather than fighting for more appropriate socialising forums.
We certainly aren't fighting to live our lives without alcohol. We have too much invested in it.
When we buy a drink, we buy an identity. Even worse, we buy a way of side-stepping being real with each other, facing awkwardness and exploring the depth of our relationships.
We could take a risk to live life without it once or twice, but not as a lifestyle. We couldn't stand it.
Although creating a more genuine, caring, people-centred society will cause pain for some of our current businesses, this does not mean these shifts should not happen. They certainly are better for everyone in the long term. One could even argue it's good for the economy - there's a gap in the market for family-centred enterprise.
We could use some spaces where people can enjoy themselves, while respecting each other fully. Whichever way you put it, alcohol does not provide this. Rather, it takes us further away from each other.
The effects of alcohol in society are obvious - the most explicit being violent crime. However, its subtler impacts are no less devastating.
Aside from starting the third World War in our bodies, this drug numbs our senses, reduces our inhibitions and alters our judgment for danger. It interferes with our motor skills, speech and ability to form a coherent thought.
Most significantly, however, it erodes confidence and courage. We become dependent on a false sensation to "be myself", "come out of my shell" or reach out to others.
Finally, it masks our fears on many levels - fears of feeling awkward, vulnerable, humiliated, shy or unloved. Each time we drink to mask a fear, the fear grows, nurturing our dependency.
Ultimately, this is what our children see. We lack the courage to be real, be it in a difficult situation where we face pain and humiliation, or an easy one where we are surrounded by family and friends who like us and are liked by us.
Rather than being creative, receiving love and support, having good fun and expressing ourselves (sober); we inadvertently imply that our relationships and our hearts are empty.
An evening playing games, laughing and talking - without drink - ought to be entertaining. An evening focused on our children's play could teach us a lot.
But, we can't stand it. We need the drink. We believe "responsible drinking" is a good and important model.
No doubt, creativity and courage go much further. The debate is misplaced when we focus on the time we should bring our children out of the pubs. The real debate is about why we have nowhere else to go with our children, and why it is so difficult for us to sustain another social format.
Do you know what it is you can't stand that keeps this country hooked on drugs?
Whatever it is, our children see it and, from this, they learn much more than is apparent.
Shalini Sinha is an independent producer and journalist. She is a counsellor on equality issues and has lectured on women's studies in UCD. She co-presents RTÉ's intercultural programme, Mono.