TIME OUT:Taking time to connect with what matters
TIME OUT is time well spent. It is taking time out of the day for oneself, commandeering time for personal use and benefit. It is time away from tasks. The purpose of “time out” is to do something exclusively for ourselves that brings light into our day.
Time out is a reprieve from drudgery. It connects us to what matters to us, what enlivens, engages and enriches us. It is special. It is not given. It must be taken. We talk of “taking” time out, because it is precious time that we must requisition or else it is lost. Time out is a gift we bestow on ourselves by factoring it into each day, each week, into our lives. We take time out when we do something that we love every day.
Taking time out is a habit to be encouraged. It does not require large swathes of time. Sometimes minutes suffice. But it is lost if we do not claim it. That is why time out must be seized, without guilt, on a regular basis, to maintain personal happiness and health.
We can withstand much if we give ourselves a little time out each day.
This is one of the more interesting facets of the research in relation to stress: the degree to which we can cope with considerable strain if we simply ensure some recuperative time during it.
For example, Hans Selye, one of the fathers of stress theory, demonstrated in his “general adaptation syndrome” the stress stages through which we progress, from alarm to exhaustion, if we do not have a restorative reprieve in the process.
There are psychological consequences if we do not take time out such as problems in concentration, memory, energy, sleep, self-esteem and mood. There may be work-related problems, in efficiency, with illness or absenteeism and occupational burnout if we do not extricate ourselves from demands for at least a short time each day.
Our resistance to stress is remarkably good if we take time out. The annual holiday does not do it. The short break, while valuable, cannot replace it. Time out: taking personal, reflective or sociable, enjoyable space each day promotes psychological resilience.
Time out is not just time off. It has a deeper meaning. It is often about ensuring solitude. Frequently a much loved piece of music is all that is required. For some a short walk provides it. For others vigorous exercise. Many take time out by becoming conscious of their breathing, their bodies, by systematically releasing tension from muscles, tuning out the world and tuning in to themselves.
Some find solace in religious exercise. A surprising number of people “stop and stare”. They take a specific object and reflect on it, its outline, colour, texture and quality. Like still-life artists they attune to the detail of inanimate objects or living things.
Hermits, contemplatives, recluses and those who crave solitude may spend their entire lives away from the fray. Many writers, artists, poets and others find that they need to sequester themselves from excessive interaction with others to access their creativity. But all of us need to make and take short scraps of time out for ourselves.
One efficacious time-out strategy is what might be called mental mooching. This allows the mind to drift, without purpose or intent, task, goal or required outcome and to engage in just thinking thoughts about things. Mental mooching is cogitation – wonderful, ruminative, meditative pondering which may be about something, or nothing, about living or life itself, mulling over who we are, what we are, how we got here and where we are going.
Sure didn’t Descartes, the ultimate cogitator, take serious time out to decide that his thinking confirmed his existence? And think what happened for Newton when he took time out to sit under a tree? Archimedes showed the value of time out having a bath. There is no doubt about it: time out is time well spent.
mmurray@irishtimes.com
Clinical psychologist Marie Murray's most recent book, Living Our Times, is published by Gill and Macmillan. Her weekly radio slot, Mindtime, is on Drivetimeon Wednesdays on RTÉ Radio 1