The Bigger Picture: Christmas is definitely coming. The lights and decorations are up, and most people are now pre-occupied with buying gifts and getting the food in.
It's always a time for bringing people together and celebrating. In this way, it's a time that offers us hope - or at least, a potential for hope. It's hard to believe, within all the excitement, that deep down inside we're feeling lonely.
More than anything - more than the philosophy or spirit - we know Christmas as a time for excesses. In the name of love, we spend more on material goods and use up more of our natural resources than ever.
In the name of family, friends and good cheer, we consume more food and drink (sometimes all within a few hours of the same afternoon) than any other time of the year.
We say we "shouldn't". We often even dread this time coming for what it might do to our bodies and health. Yet, when in the middle of it all, we're unable to stop ourselves. Something inside us drives us towards material and edible excesses.
In a strange way, we slowly kill ourselves in hopes of joy.
It's hard to imagine being restrained and still enjoying this holiday. It's all in the word "restraint" - limits, boundaries, suppression.
My thesaurus goes further on the matter and includes captivity and imprisonment as alternative suggestions. In the same way, no one likes the idea of self-control. It is noble and solemnly appreciated, but nothing we associate with living our lives to the fullest.
Rather, its connotations include limiting one's fun, self-expression and, ultimately, who you are. It is as if caring for our health and our environment is synonymous with holding ourselves back. How did this happen?
How could loving one's self be considered a limit to our potential? The fact is that it is an act of self-love to choose foods and drinks that nurture your body, and decline those that hurt it.
In this way, eating well enables us to realise fully our metabolic potential.
While this is an idea never really considered, the fact is that when we allow our bodies to function fully, we gain the ability to heal ourselves against the most serious illnesses, extend our life expectancy and enjoy a much better quality of life throughout.
In essence, we have the opportunity to be happier. Still, we don't see it this way.
At the root of all our excesses and indulgences is a deep loneliness. I think you recognise this. Just try to stop and stand still for a minute. There is an emptiness we rarely pay attention to.
Indeed, we spend a lot of our time avoiding it or covering it up with other things. It drives us to distraction, and, as a result, we fill ourselves with fat, sugar, alcohol, cigarettes and entertainment. We seek comfort. What we really need is closeness.
It is amazing how hard it is not to have a chocolate, dessert or alcohol when others around us are having a share.
We feel left out, like we're missing something. Continuously looming is a sense of potential exclusion.
The same type of thing operates for us around excessive shopping and gift buying. We want those around us to feel loved. We, ourselves, want to feel good about ourselves. All of this seems possible when we purchase the latest piece of technological convenience, gaming item or fashion accessory.
Our hopes and dreams are translated into a shiny gadget with a price tag. And still, we don't feel happier.
If anything, the loneliness grows the longer we are denied closeness.
I want to present you with another model: the possibility of celebrating real love, for ourselves and those around us. In fact, true celebration ought to be an act of love, shared with others.
Unless we also let that love in for ourselves, we cannot fully participate in the festivities.
What we really want, what makes a difference, and what truly brings fulfilment, is human connection.
When we receive it - when we reach for it - a whole world of imagination, possibilities and love opens up. It is the only thing that can fill the void inside us.
It is the only gift we can give another that will truly let them know we love them.
We find connection when we stop engaging in distractions and let ourselves slow down - enough to notice what is genuinely meaningful to us.
We need to give ourselves the chance to be ourselves - even if this means feeling awkward sometimes. As long as it is a true expression of our self at that moment, it will allow us to connect.
When we share these things with others, and receive them from others, we create the possibility for real closeness in our lives. Once we have this, shopping, drinking and over-eating no longer carry the same lure for fulfilment.
The closer we get to each other, the more likely we are to be truly happy. This holiday season, I am wishing each of you exactly that.
Shalini Sinha practices life coaching and the Bowen technique in her clinic, Forward Movement.