The Bigger Picture: Go ahead and be a success. Don't worry about it, it makes sense.
To be frightened, fearful and self-restricting only causes stress - physically and emotionally, and not just for you but for those around you.
It takes more energy to suppress our potential, imagination and talents, than realise them. When we limit ourselves, that energy turns inside us and implodes. Furthermore, we end up spending a lot of time working, but not achieving the things we work for.
In this way, our lives - and the time we would otherwise spend with loved ones or enriching ourselves - become wasted.
Despite common belief, being successful does not have to mean working relentlessly. In fact, defining success by work (or the things we hope to gain by working - wealth, status, power) reflects a very narrow view of life. It's quite bizarre to define success by how much money or resources one can accumulate for oneself.
It suggests that "stuff" makes one happy, or at least comfortable, and that comfort means a better life.
It seems our species is dying to be "comfortable". We seek comfort rather than strength and growth. As a result, we have become weaker in areas that also matter: the spiritual, emotional, physical and social aspects of our lives.
Ironically, the reason why most people want to be a "success" is to generate enough money so they don't have to work, or at least can choose how often and what they work at. It's a roundabout way of trying to gain some control over our lives. Yet, we worry so much about the work we do and how we do it that we rarely achieve this.
There is every reason to build into our lives, now, the things that are meaningful to us. There is no rational argument for putting them on hold, hoping we can have them later when our life is set up "better".
In the meantime, our life goes by. We are meant to enjoy it now. It is our journey to express ourselves, have an impact and put our values into action. Doing so makes everything better - for us and for those around us.
To develop success, we must not only be practical, but also inspired. As such, it requires more than just discipline. It also takes courage. We must follow our hearts, tap into our inner talents and recognise our personal values.
These will give us both the drive and imagination to create a world that has purpose and meaning.
When we root our vision in that which is meaningful, it develops a power to touch others. Because it has arisen from a human need, it naturally meets a need felt by others.
Still, most people are afraid to go after success. We harbour beliefs that success is ultimately bad: generating wealth is greedy, being ambitious is vain, and wanting to have an impact is being "too big for our boots".
It's understandable that we think this way. Most of our models of wealth involve keeping, or guarding, it all for ourselves. Examples of ambition usually entail exploiting and deceiving those who have assisted along the way. Finally, our familiar experience is of people judging and discouraging each other.
Still, we can pioneer new models of success. It is not necessary that wealth be hoarded and used selfishly. This only disconnects and confuses us, generating unhappiness in our hearts.
Likewise, it is possible to further our own aims without misusing those around us - those who, in reality, have helped and taught us along the way.
Finally, we can strengthen ourselves against unconstructive judgments and opinions, and design our lives to access greater support. If we are ever to take charge of our lives, we must become absolutely clear about who we are and what's in our own hearts, and then take steps to show this in our lives.
In the end, realising our dreams and potential is a lonely path (another reason why some may avoid it). No one else can see our vision - we are each unique with particular experiences, talents and perspectives on the world.
As such, we have our own contribution to make - one that is valid, will improve things for more people than just ourselves, and which is distinct from that of our parents or others close to us. It is our path, alone, and we must walk it. Avoiding it helps no one, least of all ourselves.
Still, becoming a success does not mean being lonely forever. We must simply change how we think. We must stop looking to others for reassurance for our ideas and ourselves, and decide to stand on our own two feet, believing in ourselves.
Only then can we draw in the partners we need to support us - those with a wisdom to teach us, an expertise to guide us and a love to inspire us. We will need all these things to grow.
It is practical for us to flourish. Expressing our abilities and ideas allows us to function well.
In this way, we maximise our resources, creating time and bringing a balance to our lives. This heals a hurt.
Shalini Sinha is a life coach and Bowen practitioner in her clinic, Forward Movement.