THAT'S MEN:As the festive season draws closer, food issues can become extremely problematic for some, writes Padraig O'Morain
AT CHRISTMAS, most of us look forward to eating more than we ought to. It's allowed.
But for some men, Christmas dinners come with a challenge. These are men with eating disorders, particularly anorexia.
The challenge lies in getting through Christmas while hiding a disorder that may rule their lives.
It is difficult to say how many men have eating disorders. People almost always hide anorexia or bulimia for as long as they can. And because these are seen as women's problems, they are more likely to go unnoticed in men.
Moreover, men's motives for engaging in certain behaviours can differ from those of women.
For example, anorexic women typically want to get thin and never reach their ideal, possibly because food deprivation distorts their perceptions.
Some men may also want to get thin but others are seeking a muscular look, according to the authors of a study recently published in the journal Biological Psychiatry. It was conducted by researchers from Harvard University who looked at the experiences of 3,000 adults in the US.
The research suggests that about a quarter of those with anorexia or bulimia are men.
In Britain, men are thought to account for about 15 per cent of people with eating disorders. However, experts point out that this figure doesn't include men whose body building and fitness regimes may mask a disorder.
Whatever the true figure, it seems likely that the proportion of men with eating disorders is on the rise. Bombarded by images of the lean and muscular male body, more and more men feel inadequate when they look in the mirror.
Dr John Morgan of the Yorkshire Centre for Eating Disorders told the BBC earlier this year that as many as one in five young men experiences "quite extreme distress" over their body image.
He believes the pressure on young men to look slim is just as great as on women.
He goes further. As far as he is concerned, the ideal slim and muscular male image is not obtainable except for men who take certain drugs, who exercise for hours or who become anorexic or bulimic. In other words, the ideal male is an unhealthy male.
Gay men are more likely than heterosexual men to develop eating disorders. This is thought to be due to a higher value placed on appearance in the gay community.
Men may also lose weight because they will do better in the workplace if they are slim than if they are heavy. But among men who lose weight is a percentage who continue dieting even after they have reached their target.
Why? I expect it has a lot to do with control which applies to women with eating disorders as well. The person who loses weight through dieting has succeeded in exercising control over the desire to eat and over his/her body.
There is another link with control. It isn't unusual for persons with eating disorders to have perfectionist tendencies, or to come from a family characterised by such tendencies.
Perfectionism also has a lot to do with control: 90 per cent right won't do, only 100 per cent will do and then sometimes even 100 per cent is not good enough.
This sounds awfully like dieting that goes on for longer than is needed until it takes on a life of its own. The need to control can also be seen in the resistance to the pleas of family members to adopt a healthy diet.
A counsellor might wonder what aspect of the person's life is out of control? Is this person controlling his or her weight instead of facing other issues, particularly issues with relationships? If so, helping the client to face these other issues may achieve a great deal more than talking about the eating disorder itself.
Readers who suspect they might have an eating disorder might do well to visit their GP or to see a counsellor. If other people are telling you they are concerned about your eating, or lack of it, you probably resist agreeing with them - but it might be worth going off and quietly considering whether you think there might be something in what they are saying.
• Padraig O'Morain is a counsellor. His book That's Men - the best of the Irish Times Thats Men column- is published by Veritas