HEART BEAT MAURICE NELIGANBY THE TIME anybody reads this, Lisbon will be a thing of the past. I suspect that, whatever the result, the sun will still rise and set and folk will get on with their lives with no discernible difference.
I can honestly say that the only feeling it aroused in me was resentment. What was it all about - and why only us?
Pictures of political entities and non-entities exhorted us to vote one way or the other from all the usual electoral vantage points. Meetings, press conferences, TV programmes, media saturation and endless spin wove webs around the largely uncomprehending inhabitants.
It was all faintly ridiculous. I cannot rid myself of a picture of the rest of Europe waiting and praying that Paddy will make the right choice.
I have another question. What do these folk who are so intent on leading the rest of us into, or out of, the Promised Land do the rest of the time?
Not very much it would appear, as they have apparently endless time to drive the rest of us into one or other corral. I believe this interlude has not shown politics and politicians in their best light and accordingly citizen cynicism grows.
I am assured that JK Rowling's Harry Potter saga of wizards, witches and other magical creatures and their interaction with the muggles is not based on the Republic of Ireland.
The only reason I accept this assurance is that their medical services, mediated through wands and spells, largely work. Ours, governed by some unaccountable and elusive power, manifestly do not.
All, however, is not lost in this green land. There are some elfish folk beavering away for the benefit of us all. Fearless Elf Gormley has gently suggested to our uncouth farmers that they had better teach their livestock some manners and stop them releasing noxious gases into the environment.
You'd think with all the set aside land and subsidies from Brussels, they'd have loads of time to potty train their cattle. It is suggested that it might be wise if this was done voluntarily - otherwise Big John might have to cull the national herd.
I read it in the paper. He would set up a special body with unlimited powers to sort them out. It would have loads more inspectors paid for from the public purse, but it would be worth it. If we could stop a few cows from anti-social emissions, it would be the equivalent of shutting down 20 coal-burning power stations in China. This new body could be called something like Foras Aire Raumeis Teo and would be better known by its acronym Fart.
Aren't these green ministers amazing - reduce the national herd, sailing luggers for the fishing fleet . . . whatever will they think of next?
Wake up folks. This is all daft and in your hearts you know it. Nobody can give you an honest assessment of the problems we might (advisedly) encounter through global warming and when these might occur.
They are all based on computer modelling and an undoubted rise in temper- atures. They appear to discount that this has happened before and that folk are pretty adaptable and can live happily in climes as disparate as Greenland and Singapore.
They allow nothing for ingenuity and developing science. It's rather like a medieval savant saying "put out that bloody candle, think of Elf Gormley in 2008".
Recession usually brings reality. When times get hard, people struggle to feed their families and to keep them warm and safe. The exotic fruits of the soil of plenty tend to be obliterated in the hard ground of subsistence. Does anybody think that the collective idiocy which stops boy scouts having campfires and tries to make us all change our lightbulbs is going to be entertained when the lights start to go out?
I don't want my car taxed out of existence. I want the lights to stay on and to be warm and have enough to eat. This is my basic selfish agenda - I suspect it is shared by nearly everybody.
These are the basics, along with decent healthcare and education that you folk were elected to provide. Don't give us the impression that if you caring folk had been around that the last Ice Age mightn't have happened.
Capping and trading carbon emissions and trading permits sounds remarkably like a crowd of chancers making money from hot air. We've had enough of that.
Maurice Neligan is a cardiac surgeon