Being tested for food intolerance doesn’t always mean that all your favourites are going to be banned
IF ANYTHING kills me before my time, it will be an e-mail or Vincent Browne.
The realisation hit me as I read the measurements made by a blood pressure monitor I wore recently for 24 hours.
Before you rush out to buy a get well soon card, I should explain that I had gone off to McCabe’s pharmacy at Dundrum Town Centre in Dublin to try out the chain’s health check service.
That's why I was kitted out with a blood pressure monitor that tightened on my arm every half hour like the grip of fate and was able to delve into my private life with the assiduousness of a News of the World phonehacker.
When I was unblocking a drain before a visitor arrived, my blood pressure jumped – and I don’t blame it. When I met somebody on the street with whom I had recently had an argument, up it jumped again.
At 9.30 that night, a highly annoying e-mail arrived from America – and my blood pressure absolutely shot through the roof. It went down within half an hour, but later, as I lay in bed watching Vincent Browne, it shot up again.
I ended up with a higher average reading than I would have liked, though not in any sort of danger zone.
Most of the tests done at this pharmacy give a fairly immediate result. Cholesterol, bone density, glucose, haemoglobin, PSA (prostate) and TSA (thyroid) results all came through within minutes of a blood sample being taken by clinical technician Margaret Maguire. It helps that she has a reassuring manner which enables her to take blood without pain.
And I have to say that it’s nice to get your bloods done in a bright pharmacy environment and not to have to sit in a glum waiting room with all manner of people coughing at you.
So far as I can see from my results, by the way, I am in reasonable shape and can expect to live at least until after we have paid back the bailout money.
My cholesterol level was “borderline high”, but I expect that cutting out eating rubbish as a result of my food intolerance test will bring that down.
Ah, the food intolerance test. This is where mystery and suspense come into the picture.
Food intolerance is different to food allergy. Allergies trigger direct action by the immune system, and reactions tend to happen fairly fast, sometimes violently.
Food intolerance, on the other hand, means your body finds it difficult to digest certain foods completely. This can lead to a build-up of toxins in the bloodstream, resulting in symptoms such as bloating, lack of concentration, sleep disturbance and sinus problems.
To test for food intolerance, the pharmacy send a blood sample to the Fitzwilliam Food Test clinic in Dublin.
This is where mystery and suspense come in: as you wait for the week or so it takes for the result to come back you wonder if you’re eating in the last chance saloon, and if all your favourites are going to be banned. Perhaps you might be tempted to have extra helpings, just in case.
Actually, it’s not as bad as all that. Even if you do turn out to be intolerant to certain foods, you give them up for three months and then reintroduce them gradually.
What came back in my test was a necessity to avoid cow’s milk and related products and also egg whites. Avoiding dairy products means, of course, cutting out those rubbishy chocolate bars I had begun to reward myself with for making it through to lunchtime every day.
All of that, in turn, should help with the cholesterol. I don’t take milk in tea or coffee, but the mashed potatoes will be made with skimmed milk for the next 12 weeks.
Peppers were also flagged as items to be avoided, which surprised me. That will pose a challenge when it comes to stir-fries, not to mention the peanuts (also out) I like to snack on.
As Maguire pointed out, though, on the bright side I have no problem with barley and yeast, so I don’t have to give up wine and beer.
Pharmacist Áine McCabe (one of three McCabe sisters who run the 20-store chain) told me she eliminated a snoring problem, much to her husband’s relief, by going off dairy products for three months.
Such a result would certainly go down well in my household, so here’s fingers crossed for fewer digs in the side during the night.
GPs are very happy with the service provided by the pharmacy, according to Maguire. They know that anything requiring their attention will be referred to them, and doctors also send patients directly to the outlet for blood tests which might take a few weeks to get in a hospital.
I’m told that some wives also find it easier to steer reluctant husbands into a pharmacy than into a doctor’s waiting room for a health check.
Prices range from €25 for the cholesterol check to €5 for a glucose check, with blood pressure taken for free. The food intolerance test costs just over €200.
McCabe’s (McCabespharmacy.com), with branches in Dublin, Limerick, Dundalk, Gorey and Wexford, says it was the first pharmacy group to provide this range of health checks.
As for me, I think I’ll give up Vincent Browne for three months as well, just to be on the safe side.