Graham Gleasure has faced a difficult job running his Tralee-based funeral directors since the Covid-19 crisis began, doing everything to abide by the rules and yet still offer the bereaved a portion of the traditional service.
The original rules were tough, even if they were alien in a county where funeral rites last three days – just 10 people at the funeral ceremony, no sympathising at the graveside and no gatherings at homes, funeral homes or churches.
However, the regulations were tightly written and clear. If anything, the job of funeral directors such as Mr Gleasure became more difficult after the first phase of lockdown restrictions were eased, with 2km travel extending to 5km.
Since then, the crowds gathering outside churches have grown. Often, far more than 10 people have assembled at graveyards, while more mourners are driving to stand on the roads to see the hearse pass, while standing 2m apart.
From Monday, the rules change again, with 25 mourners allowed to attend funerals. Mr Gleasure had feared that the limit would rise to 50, or “even 100, a limit that would be almost impossible to manage”, he told The Irish Times.
“The Irish do funerals very well, there is a lot of respect and time. It’s very personal and it is heartbreaking when you can’t do that. It’s very hard to face bereaved persons and say: sorry, you can’t do that,” he said.
“It’s totally unnatural for a priest and us to say you have to pick 10 people to bring to the church.”
Funeral rites
In Kerry, like so many other counties, funerals, for the Catholic tradition at least, are gatherings that last for three days: a quiet rosary at the funeral home, followed by a public removal to a church and a full requiem Mass a day later, often in a packed church.
Since Covid-19, the removal the night before, which would have seen people queuing often for hours to sympathise with neighbours and friends, ended. Instead, it was “straight to the church on the morning”, Mr Gleasure says.
Visiting the corpse to say goodbye is a big part of funerals in Kerry. That, too, largely fell away, though Gleasures arranged staggered visits for immediate family and friends.
A few new customs have emerged, particularly where neighbours and friends have left their homes to stand on the road and bid farewell to a neighbour as the hearse passes.
“Your heart would jump when they clap as the hearse begins to pass,” he said, especially in the last few weeks of fine weather where the lines of people on the road were even bigger than at the beginning of the crisis.
A number of trends are emerging which may well continue, Mr Gleasure thinks. Equally, families in rural parts of Kerry, unable to mourn relatives in funeral homes, have begun to bring a loved one’s corpse home for private mourning.
“The old ways are returning,” Mr Gleasure said.