What to do and where to go? The adult contingent of the Clayton-Lea family spent most of what passed for the summer embroiled in a house-move which necessitated us staying by the phone (and very close to our banks, solicitors and mortgage brokers). The two smaller members of the family, meanwhile (Paul 8, Sarah 6), wondered why we weren't leaving the country for greener pastures and better weather.
This year, we couldn't afford to spend two weeks out of the country (so many colour charts to study, so little time), so we decided to do something on a scale we had never thought of before - why not treat the kids to a holiday they would never forget? Instead of being selfish about these things - our time will come - why not indulge them as much as we could without being totally ridiculous about it? We reckoned somewhere close at hand would be the best bet, travel-wise. Equally, a long weekend would be enough for them to be fitfully indulged and for us not to regret our decision too much.
Theme parks seemed a good idea. But which one? If there were any white-knuckle rollercoaster rides in Ireland, we didn't know about them - unless you count the 9.43 a.m. Arrow train from Drogheda to Dublin. As we were planning a mere three/four days, we also didn't want to travel too far, so Disneyland Paris was discounted.
The ones we knew about in England would have to be close to airports for ease of access and car hire. We scanned brochures and decided on Alton Towers - it was near both Birmingham and Manchester airports. We chose Manchester because it had the added attraction of being home to Old Trafford, which meant we could bring Paul on a tour of the grounds. (Paul has been a Man United fan since the club's dark days, when they were winning only two trophies a year and, as he sat in the Red Cafi eating a Beckham Burger and watching video footage of Best, Law and Charlton, he proudly proclaimed that this was indeed the best day of his life. Shucks - we had difficulty holding back the tears, I can tell you.)
Set in the grounds of a 15th-century stately home in Staffordshire, Alton Towers Park was first opened to the public in the late 19th century. People would come from far away to see the spectacular gardens that lie in front of the Towers. The gardens became increasingly popular, so when the park opened up after the first World War the owners decided to make the visitors pay to enter the gardens. Shortly afterwards, a tearoom was built.
The park remained rather genteel until the early 1970s, when, due to the lowering annual turnover, the owners introduced some fairly innocuous fairground rides in an attempt to boost numbers. It seemed that Alton Towers was doomed, until some bright marketing spark installed the Vekoma Corkscrew in 1980. This was the first of almost 100 rides and attractions installed in the 1980s. Since then, rollercoaster rides have come and gone, but the Park remains one of the biggest visitor attractions in Britain.
WE were going there for two days - a good, if somewhat daunting prospect, but time enough if we wanted to try as many rides as possible. Because of the general air of good humour and expectation, the notorious queueing system for each ride didn't bother us as it might ordinarily have. The kids had never seen so many attractions in one place - neither had we, for that matter. Although it looked like hard work to get from one "land" to another, Alton Towers is laid out in such a way that the time drifts by quite pleasantly.
The trick of its success, which we were not aware of prior to our arrival, is that it's as much an adult fantasy model as a child one. For those, like me, who ordinarily baulk at white-knuckle rides as being too darned perilous (I have enough risk in my life as a freelance journalist, thank you very much), the reality is that the inherent danger is a perfect stress-buster. For the first time in our children-as-permanent-accessories lives, we were able to scream at them without feeling guilty afterwards. And they were able to scream at us and get clean away with it.
Alton Towers is a great family holiday, providing the children are old enough (ideally from age seven upwards) to go on most of the rides. The intensity of some of the rides is such that you'd want to have nerves of steel - but, as children know no fear, it's better if you put your craven cowardice behind you and go with the flow. We did and it turned out to be the best short family break we've had to date. Go on - feel the fear! Face the queues! I dare you . . .
How To Get There
Alton Towers is clearly signposted from the motorways: travelling north, M1 (Junction 23a) or M6 (Junction 15); travelling south, M1 (Junction 28) or M6 (Junction 16). We stayed in the extremely family-friendly Moat House Hotel, Stokeon-Trent, about 15 miles from Alton Towers. For information on the Alton Towers Hotel, just outside the Park, phone (0044) 990 001100. Forward booking is recommended.
Safety features
A number of the more thrilling whiteknuckle rides at Alton Towers (Nemesis, Oblivion, Ripsaw, The Black Hole, Corkscrew) have quite strict height restrictions. We witnessed attendants politely but firmly refusing to allow children on rides who were below the correct height. Top marks!
Opening times
Alton Towers is open from March 24th until November 30th. The park grounds are open from 9.30am. Closing time varies throughout the year. When we were there in August, it closed at 6.30 p.m.
October date
Forthcoming events prior to closing this year include the Halloween Spooktacular from October 25th-28th.
For information, contact British Travel Centre, College Green, Dublin - phone (01) 6708111.