WEDDING BELLS!
Time to buy a hat!
Enda Kenny and Eamon Gilmore are affianced.
The engagement party was last night.
We knew all along it would happen.
For years, they’ve been eyeing each other up across a crowded Dáil. Then an election came along and they found themselves thrown together in very difficult circumstances.
They fought. They argued. They resisted each other for as long as they could.
But on the Prime Timeleaders' debate feisty Eamon hoisted the white flag and stepped in meekly behind mild-mannered Enda.
Come next week, they’ll be booking a room, followed by coalition and the patter of tiny ministries.
It’s always the way . . .
Micheál Martin did his utmost to come between them. The result of his often aggressive efforts was to force the other two together in a show of unity against their common enemy.
What we were looking for in the debate – the fourth in an odd little general election series between the various party leaders – was whether Kenny would crash and burn, whether Gilmore would continue to attack Fine Gael or switch targets, whether Martin would recover from amnesia and whether the general public would stay awake until the bitter end.
Midway through this endurance exercise for viewers it became clear that the election contest is all but done.
Enda Kenny confounded the critics. If his performance last night was the last big hurdle on his way to becoming taoiseach, he cleared it like a Grand National winner.
Kenny was never going to be an oratorical powerhouse, but by his standards he put on a terrific display.
Early on, we even harboured suspicions that the handlers had crumbled horse tranquilisers into his mash, because he appeared almost too calm and measured.
Fine Gael is streets ahead in the opinion polls. Kenny did nothing to damage that.
Eamon Gilmore knows he won’t be taoiseach after Friday. He gave up any pretence that this may be the case and rowed in behind the man who should be his boss in a couple of weeks.
He made this clear in his opening remarks when he declared: “The new government faces big changes, so it needs the sound judgement of Labour.”
In other words, vote for us – we’ll be a moderating influence on the more right-wing excesses of our senior partners in power.
Interestingly, the body language of both Kenny and Gilmore, allied to the largely conciliatory tone they adopted with each other, indicated that Fine Gael is not minded to go into government with the support of a collection of Independents.
Had this debate taken place two weeks ago, it is likely that the Labour and Fianna Fáil leaders would have ganged up on the vulnerable Kenny and made mincemeat of him in the debating stakes. They could have taken him, and Fine Gael, out early on.
The decision by his advisers to keep him away from that first TV encounter now seems inspired.
Instead, Gilmore concentrated his attacks solely on Martin. He is a far superior debater to Kenny, who sat back and let him get on with the job. It helped (the lucky general maxim may apply here) that the Fine Gael leader was seated in between the other two.
There were times when Eamon and Micheál slugged it out while Enda let them at it with an expression of weary bemusement.
Meanwhile, the Fianna Fáil leader seemed very marginalised. He sat furthest away from the moderator, Miriam O’Callaghan. This meant that when he was looking in her direction, he was also facing Kenny and Gilmore. Kenny hardly ever looked in Martin’s direction, even when the Fianna Fáil leader was speaking to him.
It’s a technique you see used by barristers in the courts. It’s not very nice, but it’s usually quite effective.
Micheál had a tough task. He may have expected an attack from Gilmore, but he was knocked back on his heels by the two-pronged approach. Not least by some very pointed barbs from Enda, who normally doesn’t do nasty.
“You’re full of wind and spoof,” snorted Kenny at one point.
Micheál looked rather hurt. It cut him off mid-sentence.
Enda got more composed as the evening went on, although Micheál scored some hits on the issue of tax, but Kenny skipped away from the punches.
If anything, he improved as the evening wore on.
Gilmore was reassuring and sensible, but you could see he knows the game is up. He threw in the towel and deferred to Kenny.
Martin said he would be going for the undecided voters last night. It is hard to see how he won any of them over. At times, he seemed too tetchy. He’s good, but even he can’t conquer the mountain of past history and current resentment.
Enda Kenny was the victor last night. Eamon handed him the laurel wreath and will be rewarded. Micheál will battle on and rebuild his party.
In the meantime, we’ve a wedding to prepare.
Never doubted it. Michael Noonan, the sage of Fine Gael, let the cat out of the bag when we talked last week about the alleged rift between Fine Gael and Labour: “The personal relationships are good. It’s just a quarrel about business.”
He was right.
