Bertie Ahern's 'single transferable script' is doing good business, writes Mark Hennessy, Political Correspondent, in Mumbai
Rising gingerly from a chair in the Taj Mahal Hotel in New Delhi on Thursday, the Taoiseach, Bertie Ahern, grimaced with the pain from his left knee, a reminder of a pre-election jog some years ago.
"Has anyone got a new knee?" he joked as he limped a few steps, promising as he did so to get to a physiotherapist on his return to Dublin.
The injury had played up on the third day of his week-long visit to India, and was quickly picked up by television cameras on his arrival in New Delhi on Wednesday.
By the time he arrived yesterday morning in Mumbai, which is still better known in the West as Bombay, Ahern's leg was feeling the pace from a gruelling week's travel.
"An old football injury is playing up," he told an Enterprise Ireland- organised lunch for Indian business people. "But I can still kick back if any of you want a fight."
The trade mission led by Ahern, who was accompanied by three ministers, had been in preparation for 10 months and involved 100 business people from the Republic and Northern Ireland.
Politicians rarely get bonus points for trips abroad, either from the public or from members of the media (who see them as "junkets" unless they are travelling as well, in which case they are "hard work").
"I always thought these things were a waste of time until I went on the mission last year to China, and I saw the access that I got that I otherwise wouldn't have," said one Dublin-based businessman.
IN HIS 10TH year as Taoiseach, Ahern has his routine for trade missions finely honed. The main speeches have a John Hume-like "single transferable script" air about them, though peppered with humour.
Concentrating on the Republic's past and present economic successes and future potential, Ahern emphasises the State's small size in a "you're big, we're small, we can get along" sort of way.
The routine tends to go down well. In Shanghai last year, one Australian-based businessman voiced astonishment that a country's leader would be prepared to be so humble.
"The Chinese just love this sort of thing, since they see the rest of us as barbarians anyway, but I can't imagine any other European leader doing it. Tony Blair couldn't, without getting savaged at home," he said.
YESTERDAY, THE TAOISEACH, by now on the final leg (excuse the bad pun) of the tour, did another reprise, matching a deliberately chosen air of modesty with pride in Ireland's economic advances.
"I lead a country of four million people, so you can understand if I feel slightly intimidated when I come to a city of 20 million in a state of 100 million people," he told a crowded University of Mumbai auditorium.
"The other difficulty was when we came to the airport we were told that you are in the middle of your winter. So sorry if we came over-dressed, but we didn't mean to do so."
The audience purred at the joke.
Unlike last year's China mission, the visit to India, a land marked by savage contrasts of wealth and poverty, has not led to major contract signings, though the potential for co-operation is vast. Unfortunately, bureaucracy is tortuous, corruption is common, and the country's 1.1 billion people are pounding the environment, as was clear in the capital late on Thursday when choking smog reduced visibility to metres.
Because of their long-established democracy, Indians have a less deferential, but more curious, interest in politicians, though the authorities still block roads for hours to ensure a motorcade's smooth passage.
Early last week, the Bangalore morning papers announced the closure of up to a dozen roads in the seven million-strong city for Ahern and his Dutch counterpart, Jan Peter Balkenende, who was also in the city this week.
Required to give four hours' notice if he wanted to go off schedule, Ahern, following 15-hour days, opted to stay in the Windsor Sheraton Hotel rather than create more chaos.
"It's easier this way," he said.