`I saw you on the street at lunch," a colleague said to me one afternoon last year, when I was working in Germany. "You had the most puzzled expression on your face. You looked like you were high."
I wasn't high. I was just trying to figure out where I'd go for a sandwich. Bratwurst off the street? Maybe a hero at that Italian place . . . something with roast peppers, olive oil . . . or maybe the place with all that great stinky cheese . . . melted brie on whole wheat, with . . . hmmm . . .
My typical lunchtime dilemma. Or perhaps I should say deli-mma. Most of the cities I've ever lived in offered such a wide assortment of delis, I'd spend half my lunch-hour just trying to figure out what I wanted.
These days, I rarely have that problem. There are but two delis where I work and they're abysmally similar. You have to wait 15 minutes in the queue, unless you grab one of those vending machine sandwiches, which are every bit as appealing as cardboard.
Inevitably, I do my time in the queue, and return to the office with a chicken and stuffing sandwich, or maybe something inventive . . . like ham, cheese, mayo on white bread. The sort of cuisine I used to have when I was six. Then I cut the crust off the bread and eat my lunch as I read my comic books.
"Try something different," my friend advised. "Try something with bacon, or maybe chicken tikka with corn." Oh, please. I've seen those bacon sandwiches, the grease sweating through the wrapping paper as if the fat little sandwich had just climbed out of the sauna.
Okay, I'm a pathetic, whingeing human being. Impatient, even. But why is it still so hard to get a decent take-away lunch? The alternatives are out there - it's just so hard to find them, because they are, more often than not, tucked away down alleys and back streets, like drug dens. I half expect to see the tabloid headline: "Pesto pushers exposed".
The Good Food Store would certainly make the front page. This lovely, unassuming little place, tucked away in an alley, is as welcome as a warm summer evening. They have delicious, inexpensive food in a kind of old world setting. And are they laid back! When I asked a woman who worked there about the 1999 Best of Ireland Food Guide award, she didn't know what I was talking about. I showed her the hubcap-sized silver medallion by the front door. "Oh," she said. "I never noticed that."
The Douglas Food Company makes great sandwiches and has great salads, but they're in Donnybrook, a tad out of the way, unless you happen to be an RTE presenter or a groundskeeper at the stadium. When I'm in the neighbourhood, I always stop at Roy Fox's, just down the block. A really great store with a large selection of imported foods and a cornucopia of colourful produce in front. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the Cabbage Patch, a flowers and fruit store with a wide array of olives and other fun stuff.
In the city centre, there's La Maison des Gourmets - the name kind of says it all. And I love the pre-packaged sandwiches at West Coast Coffee. These people understand that there are a lot of things that can go on between two slices of bread . . . avocado, mozzarella, nuts, roasted peppers.
For cheese and (prosciutto), there's Sheridan Cheesemongers - which is a kind of cheese museum, with wheels of cave-aged French stuff as big as oak tables. Although is small, it is the sort of place you can wander around . . . sampling cheeses to your heart's content. The last time I was there, I spotted a little wooden box of Gubbeen oak smoked cheese. "I guess you don't have any of that to sample,"
I said to Franck, who hails from Brittany. "Of course!" he cried. "Ess very important to sample." Magill's, which must be the best smelling store in the country, is also a favourite. The aroma wafts out the door and down the street - it practically picks you up and carries you inside, like in the cartoons. Magills has been there since 1922 - but Joose, beside Mulligans in Poolbeg Street only opened last month. And they have tortilla wraps and an assortment of freshly-made fat sambos on fresh bread with everything from mozarella to salsa - and even pesto. Now you're talking.
And for a nag like me, there is the perfectly named North American Grind (NAG), which serves bagels and cream cheese, real Caesar salads and double cappuccinos. They even serve lattes and mochas by the pint!
The best of the bunch
The Good Food Store, 7 Pembroke lane (off Waterloo) Dublin 4. Tel 01-6675656.
The Douglas Food Company, 53 Main Street, Donnybrook. Tel 01-2694066
Roy Fox, 49a Main Street, Donnybrook. Tel 01-2692892
Sheridan Cheesemongers, 11 South Anne Street, Dublin 2. Tel 01-6793143.
Magill's, 14 Claredon Street, Dublin 2. Tel 01-6713830
La Maison Des Gourmets, 15 Castle Market Street, Dublin 2. Tel 01-6727258
West Coast Coffee, 2 Lincoln Place, 21 Lower Camden Street, Dublin 2. Tel 014756144
The Cabbage Patch, 151 Upper Rathmines Road, Dublin 6. Tel 01-4962636
Joose, 7a Poolbeg Street, Dublin 2. Tel 016799611
North American Grind, 6-11 Lower Kevin Street, Dublin 8. Tel 01-4785050