SOCIETY: About Time: Growing Old DisgracefullyBy Irma Kurtz 264pp, €19.99 - RECENTLY I'VE had cause to peer through the keyhole down the long hallway towards old age. A temporary illness and post-op wariness took away my independence and mobility and, for the first time ever, I found myself thinking – is this what it's like to be old? Is this how I could be then? And so it was with heightened curiosity that I came to read Irma Kurtz's latest book, About Time: Growing Old Disgracefully.
The title, along with the cheesy cover, may give the impression this is a book for foxy grannies wanting to blow the pension on botox and gigolos. However, for all its wit and amusing reminiscence this is a serious work. Part memoir, a touch of the travelogue thrown in, it is essentially a study on senescence: the condition of growing old.
Irma Kurtz, now in her 70s, is still remembered as the Agony Aunt in Cosmopolitan magazine, although these days she is perhaps better known as a journalist, travel writer and broadcaster – skills that have stood her well in the writing of this book. The style is unusual: Kurtz gives us her take on age, sometimes referring to the past or criticising the present. She breaks up her narrative by introducing a series of older people – aged from their mid 70s to 102 – each one of whom gives his or her testimony on the life they have led, and the life they now find themselves leading.
The testimonies are wonderful. Delivered in an engaging conversational style, each perspective in its own unique way is entertaining, heart-rending and informative. The scientist Richard Langton Gregory offers sound advice on keeping the mind alert. Jane Fearnley-Whittingstall’s pleasure in going to “a good old funeral” is quite infectious. And there is a small tingle of satisfaction when retired GP Dr John Madden raps todays young doctors sharply on the knuckles for among other things, spending more time in front of their computers, than at the bedsides of their patients.
All the expected concerns of the elderly are covered: sex, money, health etc. And other, not so obvious problems, such as the overwhelming, almost romantic love a grandmother can feel towards a grandchild and the subsequent grief should that child be taken out of her reach (usually due to emigration or as a result of a divorce). Other topics include loss, loneliness, poverty and ill-health. Then there is the subject of depression leading to suicide amongst the elderly, an occurrence seldom discussed but which sadly, is far from rare. These are the darker moments.
Kurtz really comes into her own as a travel writer. Through the last chapters of About Time, she reports on a recent long train journey from Canada to Alaska to see the aurora borealis; landscape beautifully described, fellow-passengers astutely observed. The journeys into her past are equally fascinating; a childhood in New Jersey and domestic life in a Jewish household in the first half of the 20th century. Or further back, even, to her mother’s childhood, when anti-semitism simmered under the veneer of respectable middle America and shifted beneath the cloaks of the Ku Klux Klan.
So what are the advantages of being old? Not as many as I’d like to report. It’s probably easier to get away with being outspoken. And age can be used as a handy excuse to dodge tiresome social occasions. There’s wisdom of course, but what good is wisdom if no-one will listen? Money, not surprisingly, seems to open up the possibilities. But the longer we live, the more money we need. And the less we believe in an afterlife, the more we want from the the life we now have, which brings us right back to the question of money. And even if money is not a problem – what then? Should we live out our days on a cruise ship, as many Americans have chosen to do, because its cheaper than a good nursing home and staff are more respectful to a client than they would be to a patient?
Kurtz is an excellent writer but, it has to be said, of the many voices in About Time, hers is by far the most pessimistic. She can be sharp too, occasionally ruthless. Her attitude to beautiful women seems a bit harsh and relies far too much on generalisation (they can’t all be terrible mothers). In fairness to Kurtz, she does admit to a tendency to sweeping generalisations. Be that as it may, she has taken on a large and complex subject and has managed to hold its many reins with hardly a slip. Those already in, or about to enter old age should proceed with caution: About Time can make for a depressing read.
However, for anyone else it comes highly recommended, not just because it makes us think about being old and therefore more aware of the elderly, but because it enlightens and prepares us for whatever time may remain to each one of us, on the ever-shortening road ahead.
Christine Dwyer Hickey is a short story writer and novelist. Her new novel, Last Train From Liguria, will be published in June by Atlantic Books