Dail Sketch/Michael O'Regan: What Minister can expect a slap across the face if he does not watch his language? This was the intriguing question that surfaced in Leinster House yesterday.
As Dáil proceedings plodded along, word came from the Upper House that Fianna Fáil's Senator Mary O'Rourke was on the war path against a party colleague.
During a debate on ageism, she said that a particular Minister greeted her with "Hello, dear" every time he met her.
"I have made a vow that next time he says it I will slap his face publicly," she declared. "I do not care who is coming or going."
As deputies voted in the Dáil last night, the ministerial ranks were scrutinised to determine the identity of the would-be recipient of Mrs O'Rourke's hand.
Does the Taoiseach know? Will he turn the other cheek when his Minister comes into a Cabinet meeting, red-faced?
Earlier, that Minister may or may not have been present when Labour leader Pat Rabbitte referred to last weekend's series of media interviews given by the Taoiseach.
Mr Rabbitte said he had not seen all of Mr Ahern's "spate of facilitatory interviews", particularly the one on the Setanta sports channel.
"This weekend I will be keeping a close watch on it, especially with the big match on. I do not know if the Taoiseach has an appearance booked yet," he added.
If the Labour leader was hoping for a "facilitatory interview" with Mr Ahern on the situation in Aer Lingus, he was mistaken.
But then, Mr Rabbitte's adversarial style contrasts with Ryan Tubridy's more gentle ways, which led Mr Ahern to say on RTÉ television that Brendan Howlin was the Labour deputy he would transfer to Fianna Fáil. Would it be in a post-election hung Dáil?
Mr Rabbitte wondered if the national airline would be sold "for a mess of pottage as little as €200 million or €300 million".
Mr Ahern, donning his socialist clothes, spoke with an air of injured innocence.
He said he was surprised Mr Rabbitte was taking up a position opposed by every trade unionist in Aer Lingus when management wanted to steal the assets for themselves through a management buy-out, thereby shafting staff interests.
And he wondered why the Labour Party was against Minister for Transport Martin Cullen meeting the trade unions on pension issues.
"He might try to sell them e-voting machines," said Mr Rabbitte.
Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny got testy with the Ceann Comhairle on a procedural issue, claiming that Rory O'Hanlon "jumps out of the traps very quickly these days".
Dr O'Hanlon said that questions had to be relevant to the Order of Business.
Mr Kenny needed the glass of water placed in front of him to cool down.
Others sipping water included Mr Ahern, Chief Whip Tom Kitt and Labour's Michael D Higgins.
It is clearly time for well-lubricated throats as the long, long election campaign continues.
Meanwhile, spare a thought for the Minister who has to watch, not so much his back as his face, from the wrath of the formidable Mrs O'Rourke.