DÁIL SKETCH / Marie O'Halloran:It is truly the time of Utopia - "early summer". Repeated like a mantra, early summer is when everything will happen.
Every piece of legislation, whether it be dreamt of, mentioned, promised or even published, will apparently be introduced in "early summer". It amuses the Government benches to repeat it, knowing how it irks the Opposition.
And to paraphrase, certainly "bliss it will be to be alive at that dawn" of early summer. Because naturally, early summer is when the never-ending election campaign will finally be over.
And anyone foolish, audacious or just plain weary enough to seek the definition of early summer is certainly left none the wiser and often more perplexed. Asking when exactly is early summer is like asking how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, or more pointedly, how many current TDs will be doing a victory dance after the election.
It is a great unknowable - unknown to all but the head angel himself.
But Bertie was not in the Dáil yesterday when yet another Opposition deputy stepped into the breach and asked the Great Question of when precisely is early summer.
Fine Gael's Pádraic McCormack, back in the fray after reversing his decision to retire, had asked when would the necessary legislation be introduced to allow tenants of local authority apartments to buy them. Deputy angel Michael McDowell answered in the time-honoured way: "That Bill is due to be published in the early summer."
Pádraic took a slightly different tack. "Is that before or after the election?" he asked.
"Or during," piped up his party colleague Bernard Durkan.
Minister for Social Welfare Séamus Brennan said sagely: "It depends on the weather."
"That's a very important distinction," Pádraic nodded. Would it be before June 1st or after, he queried. "What is early summer in the Tánaiste's calendar?"
"After the Seanad elections," quipped Independent Finian McGrath.
"The 1st of May," explained Minister for Foreign Affairs Dermot Ahern, with a beatific smile. Too true.
But the Government's mischievous musings on early summer followed a rare and wonderful moment or two of rapprochement. It was inspired by the Tánaiste after Fine Gael's deputy leader Richard Bruton led the Opposition to a 90-minute guillotine on the completion of the Building Control Bill. "While many Ministers wish to place legacy items on their records as they leave office, this is not an acceptable way to do it," he said pointedly. Labour leader Pat Rabbitte supported the call, criticising the attempt "to provide 90 minutes at most to take 12 amendments".
The Tánaiste opined on the duty to "pass our legislation in a timely fashion" and then surprised the Opposition by offering an extra 60 minutes on the debate, reducing time on the Defence Amendment Bill. That upset Sinn Féin's Aengus Ó Snodaigh, who said he believed that legislation required sufficient debate. To everyone's amazement the Tánaiste offered an extra 30 minutes for that.
There must be an election in the offing.