RADIO REVIEW:BEFORE WE get the show on the road, here is a heartwarming seasonal tale of two cities. Sometimes what you can't see when you are listening to the wireless is far more entertaining than the programme itself. This was the case recently with George Hook, who has done many outside broadcasts, or "OBs" as they like to say in broadcasting.
On Wednesday, The Right Hook(Newstalk 106-108, weekdays) broadcast from Bewley's in Grafton Street, but the previous week it did so from the window of Marks Spencers. During the show, a drunk man repeatedly head-butted the window. Hookie ignored it. Oh, well. At least the head-banger knew how this reviewer sometimes feels listening to the show.
Valerie Cox was also in MS, the one in Dundrum Town Centre, and told Tuesday's Today With Pat Kenny(RTÉ Radio One, weekdays) that, even accounting for higher operating costs and the fall in sterling, she found major price disparities. Cox said a couple of weeks ago at MS she could see the sterling/euro difference; on Monday most of the perforated sterling labels were removed.
But she took off stickers from some MS tags: a scarf for £60, which should be €67 at that day's exchange rate, but was retailing for €96. An evening gown in Principles, £95, should have been €106, retailed for €150. In Massimo Dutti, it was the same story. Cox said, "I've never in my life met such sticky stickers, Pat! Lots of customers had already been at them."
In La Senza, Cox found "plain honest to God frilly knickers, Pat," at £5 retailing for €8. Noting that most had sales, she added, "They're all very well behaved at the moment . . . We're looking more at intent than anything else."
Who knew? Hookie was sitting on a delicious consumer story in the MS window. If only he had joined what Cox called "Label Pickers Anonymous".
Given our own stock market's performance this week, the appropriately named musical comedy troupe Dead Cat Bounce was on Tuesday's Tom Dunne (Newstalk, weekdays). One member said, "I was going to Brussels the other day at 6.30am and Michael O'Leary was checking boarding cards." Dunne likes to marvel. "There's cutbacks for you," he said. Or, rather, a nifty little marketing/publicity stunt.
There was more multi-tasking elsewhere too. "Had a busy day out shopping?" Eileen Dunne asked at the outset of Sunday Melodies(Lyric FM). "Well, I think it's time to sit back and relax. We have plenty of lovely music for you."
And they did. Right after Dunne read the news, most of which was depressing, and delivered the weather forecast (rain, sleet, cold). What the . . .? Is this multi-talented one-woman show serving up chicken soup for the lost souls in the RTÉ canteen too? Is this one of those slapstick acts where the TV personality pops up as ticket tout, hat-check girl, presenter of broadway melodies, cocktail waitress, hostess and parking valet? Actually, this time it's less about cutbacks or marketing, and more about good casting.
Me darlin' Eileen began with Cole Porter's Begin the Beguine, sung by Thomas Hanson: "What moments divine, what rapture serene/Till clouds came along to disperse the joys we had tasted/And now when I hear people curse the chance that was wasted/I know but too well what they mean." Doesn't that just sum up the economic shipping news too?
Back to the real world . . . Another seasonal tale on All Things Considered(NPR.org, weekdays), and yet another aptly-named Felipe Morales spoke about his "Priceless Lesson In Humility". I knew I'd hate this soppy story so, of course, I had to listen to it. A few years ago, he was in Washington, DC and an elderly blind woman said, "Can you help me?" He angrily emptied his pockets. But, turns out, she only wanted directions.
Morales arrived in America from Honduras aged 15. "Living in my American middle-class lifestyle, it is too easy to forget my past, to forget who I am and where I have been, and to lose sight of where I want to be going. That blind woman on the streets of Washington, DC cured me of my self-induced blindness."
Get it? He can see again. The blind woman, however, is still blind.
On Wednesday's Lunchtime With Eamon Keane(Newstalk, weekdays), Marc Coleman said of the dismal retail sales figures and euro/sterling exchange rate: "This is a crucifixion without an anaesthetic." He then apologised for his blasphemy. He said the SSIA spending spree was coming out of the system. What should Cowen do? Keane asked. "Cut. Taxes." Coleman said solemnly. And he said it just like that.
Ben Dunne was on the phone. He said smarter, lower-cost retailers such as Lidl, Aldi and Penneys will survive. The words "Dunnes Stores" hung somewhere above him in the otherworldly haze of the airwaves. Other than that, Dunne was clearly there for what they call "colour" in journalistic circles. He wasn't exactly providing any insightful economic commentary.
"Believe me, we're in a state of affairs at the moment that nobody understands," Dunne enthused. Oh, dear. I had a funny feeling Coleman wouldn't like that. He didn't. He immediately piped up to say that he would like to disagree with Dunne's last statement. "Some of us would like to think we understand what's happening," Coleman said, loftily. The rest of us are still banging our heads against shop windows.
qfottrell@irishtimes.com