Miriam Lord's Week

MGQ pension mystery; Ivan's joke backfires; FF's media ban and chips down for UK politicians

MGQ pension mystery; Ivan's joke backfires; FF's media ban and chips down for UK politicians

Cowen seeks credit for Máire’s pension decision

Mystery surrounds the decision of Máire Geoghegan-Quinn to forgo her pension when she had so steadfastly refused to even publicly comment on the issue.

Who got to her? That was the question around Leinster House this week.

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No one, it seems. Although when word came through of the EU commissioner’s intention, sources close to the Taoiseach began putting it about that their man had been working behind the scenes to bring about the required resolution to what was turning into a deeply embarrassing situation for Cowen.

His handlers intimated that he worked behind the scenes to persuade MGQ to relinquish her pension. When pressed, the line was that she “was well aware of the Taoiseach’s views”.

However, his spokesman would neither confirm nor deny whether that included direct contact by telephone. The only other way Máire could have known his views would have been by listening to television or radio – and as Biffo’s silence on the issue was as deafening as MGQ’s that wasn’t a runner.

One senior FF politician explained to us on Wednesday that the Taoiseach had been placed in a very difficult position. MGQ is in a very sensitive European role now and he couldn’t be seen to criticise her in public. That would have been unthinkable.

But things were resolved in the end, he said, knowingly, adding in a roundabout way it was so unfair that Cowen couldn’t take the credit, but that’s the price of leadership etc.

However, for all the big ministerial voices which went out over the weekend and on Monday, urging MGQ to do the right thing, did any on them get in contact with her? She didn’t get a call from one government politician – from Biffo down.

Meanwhile, sources close to the commissioner tell us that when the controversy broke, she had already been planning the legal means by which she could give the pension to a west of Ireland charity.

That may or may not be the case, but one suspects that MGQ is not a woman who can’t be talked into doing something she doesn’t want to do. Which might explain why Biffo and his lieutenants weren’t brave enough to try. Won’t stop them trying to get the credit, though.

FG supporters see red over Ivan’s Green joke

Distressing news came to us on Wednesday night from concerned Fine Gael TDs. It seems they heard our man, James “Bonkers” Bannon being summoned to his office by party whip Paul Kehoe.

“I’m in some sort of trouble for sure,” a worried Bannon sniffed to his colleagues, who wondered what he was going to be reprimanded about. A pairing mix-up, perhaps? A bit too fond of the foreign travel, maybe? Not enough eruptions of late? A number of FG TDs got in touch to tell us the Longford-Westmeath TD might be in a spot of bother. The popular Bonkers – a soubriquet earned because of his fiery contributions in the Dáil – had been carpeted and they wanted to know why.

We called Kehoe, who swears to us that he only wanted to talk to James about a harmless query on a constituency matter. He says when he saw the reaction to his “will you see me in my office” request, he decided to let the lot of them sweat.

Meanwhile, Paul has spent the last month reassuring the FG faithful in his Wexford constituency that former minister Ivan Yates has not joined The Green Party. Politician-turned broadcaster Yates told listeners to Newstalk on April 1st that he had decided to turn his Blueshirt past and join John Gormley and co. The local papers ran stories about the prank. Not everyone got the joke.

“I’ve had people roaring down the phone at me for the last few weeks saying ‘what Ivan’s done to the Fine Gael party is nothing short of treachery’. Some of them were very upset,” Deputy Kehoe tells us. “The fact that Ivan has moved to Dublin made matters worse, convincing them that he had repudiated his FG past.”

Security one of main issues at FF conference

At the Cúirt International Festival of literature in Galway recently, Roddy Doyle waxed nostalgic about the days of the Fianna Fáil “tint” at the Galway races. Not since Brian Boru’s time has a tent featured so significantly in Irish history, the author declared.

But while Biffo permanently punctured the famous race week marquee, the Soldiers of Destiny haven’t given up on Ballybrit. The party has become partial to the area, hosting its first regional conference last Saturday in the Clayton Hotel, which stands on the edge of the famous track.

Brian Cowen didn’t attend. As local Minister Éamon Ó Cuív rather bafflingly explained to reporters: “It wouldn’t be practical for the Taoiseach to go to every part of the country.” Those who managed to make it to Galway included Tánaiste Mary Coughlan and Ministers Batt O’Keeffe and Brendan Smith; Ministers of State Dara Calleary and Martin Mansergh; MEP Pat the Cope Gallagher and local TDs Frank Fahey, Micheál Kitt and Noel Treacy.

Éamon was a mine of information. The aim of the gathering was to give “party grassroots” who won’t be able to attend the ardfheis an “opportunity to interact”. Topics for discussion ranged from job creation and unemployment, agriculture and fisheries to the impact of flooding in the West, and there was a special address by Prof Séamus Caulfield of the Western Development Commission.

However, it seems that local bigwig Ó Cúiv was taking his Social Protection portfolio a bit too seriously. On the day, Fianna Fáil appeared to be of the view that the officer corps and footsoldiers needed social protection from the media.

Restricted entry to the hall meant supplied statements could not be checked by reporters against delivery. RTÉ and TG4 cameras were allowed into the conference hall for a brief period only. A party spokeswoman later apologised following complaints from print journalists that they couldn’t get past security to the press room.

She said the security company, I-RMS – Fianna Fáil has been availing of its services for some time – was hired because senior Cabinet Ministers were present.

Given that Coughlan vamoosed before the press conference started, Minister O’Cuív and Minister O’Keeffe must have felt very important altogether.

It’s not like there was a baying mob lurking nearby – unless you counted the hotel bar, where quite a few of the grassroots were taking the opportunity to watch the Manchester United match.

Poet-politician bows out with bardic tome

We love getting press releases from John Gallahue, former FF chairman of Limerick County Council and self-styled “politician poet”. The latest arrival is headed “Upholding the bardic tradition of Co Limerick – Gallahue departs politics for better or verse”. John is ending his political career with a new book and a farewell function in Ballylanders on May 7th.

Deputy John Cregan is pencilled in to launch Bards of Bygone Days,which links the balladeers of Limerick and Cork. As for the former Cllr Gallahue, he now becomes "Bard of the Galtees".

During the week, Cllr Alex Karmel, the Mayor of Hammersmith and Fulham paid tribute to John saying that 40 years ago the Limerick man was a resident of the London borough. By studying at night he qualified as a bricklayer and returned to Limerick to become a teacher at the Limerick School of Building, subsequently the Limerick Institute of Technology. “I want to let him know that he is always welcome at Hammersmith Town Hall,” said Mayor Karmel.

Crunch time in UK at leaders’ crisps launch

Potato snack manufacturers have to work hard to make their brand stand out from the herd. Two different ways to sell a packet of crisps surfaced on both sides of the Irish Sea this week.

Over here, a billboard campaign featuring lovely girls wearing next to nothing garnered acres of coverage for the makers of Hunky Dorys. It may have prompted a slew of complaints to the Advertising Standards Authority and left a bad taste with those who found the images vaguely unsettling, but the end result was buckets of priceless publicity for the Meath-based company.

In the UK, Tyrells are using Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Nick Clegg to sell their crisps – mercifully, not in the flesh. The company is launching a limited edition range of party political crisps to mark the general election.

“Over 2,000 people from across the country voted on which flavours and tastes they would associate with the UK’s main political parties. The results of the poll have now inspired the ingredients for a new election snack range,” said a spokesperson.

While sex may sell for Hunky Dorys, Tyrells are exercising extreme caution with politics. Gourmet Gordons (Scotch Egg and Brown Sauce), Cameron Crunchies (Eton Mess) and Clegg’s Cocktail (Hummous and Roasted Vegetables) will only be on sale in Selfridges, London. However, anoraks can order them from the company website.

The company is now working round the clock to add a hung parliament flavour to the range. “The unique recipe is a challenging fusion of hotpot, pheasant and lentils.”

What flavours might best represent political parties/leaders here? There’s something to chew over if the bank holiday begins to drag.

Politicians to run in race of different kind

A cross-party group of Oireachtas members are in training for October’s Dublin city marathon.

Led by Kerry football great, Jimmy Deenihan of Fine Gael, 15 TDs and Senators have joined the running group and they train together every Wednesday evening.

Five of them ran a half marathon recently in Ballybunion. However, while the long-distance runners have been training since January, most are reluctant to go public about their athletic ambition in case they don’t make the October deadline.

“We’re making good progress and I’m confident we’ll have a team for the marathon” says Jimmy, who ran it last year. “People have to train very hard and be very committed.” The long-distance runners will represent charities of their choice.

Here’s the list of Jimmy’s brave volunteers: Minister of State Chris Andrews, TDs Niall Collins (FF); Catherine Byrne; Lucinda Creighton; Damien English; James Reilly; Frankie Feighan (all FG); Mary Upton (Lab); Senators Cecilia Keaveney and Brian O’Domhnaill (FF); Fidelma Healy Eames; Nicky McFadden; Paul Bradford; John Paul Phelan (all FG) and Fiona O’Malley (Ind).

Meanwhile, the indefatigable Deenihan is also putting the finishing touches to a book on his stellar GAA career. He is publishing it to raise funds for the Lartigue Monorail Restoration Project in Listowel.

They need €50,000 to complete work on the monorail, which was the the only one in the world and ran between Listowel and Ballybunion at the turn of the century.

Life is tweet for Inda, but he’s no Dan Boyle

Enda Kenny has opened a Twitter account. It’s riveting. How can we put it? He’s no Dan Boyle.