Miriam Lord's Week

WHEN IT comes to the summer holidays, politicians are a boring lot

WHEN IT comes to the summer holidays, politicians are a boring lot. They are all petrified of being photographed in some exotic location in case they are subsequently accused of: a) snubbing the ailing home tourism industry; and b) living the high life and totally out of touch with reality, writes MIRIAM LORD

Consequently, Ballybunion, Salthill and Courtown figure large in holiday destinations of choice among our downtrodden deputies.

At least Mary White of the Greens did something different this year. “I had a fantastic long weekend in Edinburgh two weeks ago and I swam across the river Tweed from England to Scotland.” A swim of about 120 metres, but no easy proposition. Particularly as the river was in full spate and the currents were rather rough.

“I’m into wild swimming,” Mary explained, “where you avoid a swimming pool at all costs.” A group of 12 set out and five did the swim, starting from Berwick upon Tweed, down from Union Bridge. Mary says the trick is not to fight the current.

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“I’m a very strong swimmer, I swim in the Barrow all the time. It wasn’t dangerous, but we knew what we were at. We meant to go from A to B, but with the current, we ended up at Z. The water was freezing – it took us about 15 minutes to get to the other side. Afterwards, we had a magnificent picnic in Scotland. I’ve always wanted to swim from one country to another.”

Next on Mary’s list of wild swims is Rob Roy’s Basin. “You jump into this pool, and you are caught and go under and are swept out of a hole further on. It’s in the Trussocks. ”

Connick gets his kicks on Route 66

Something a little less energetic to put on the list of things to do before you die was suggested to us yesterday by Fianna Fáil’s Seán Connick, who drove along Route 66 from Chicago to Los Angeles for his summer holidays.

“I’ve always want to do Route 66, and decided this was the year to do it. In 2007, just after I became a TD, I fell out of my wheelchair and broke my leg and had no holiday. Last year, I holidayed at home and got rained out of it. This was my trip of a lifetime.”

The deputy for Wexford drove an adapted Chrysler 300C – “I’d have loved a Chevy with the roof down, but there’s not much choice for a disabled driver” – and hit the likes of Oklahoma, Las Vegas, The Grand Canyon and Hollywood.

Seán, who drove the 2,500 mile trip with his wife Lourde, said it was an amazing experience. “Everyone should do it once.” But for now, it’s back to Leinster House, “fully energised and back with a vengeance to the Dáil.”

Also looking fit and fully energised for the fray is Fianna Fáil’s Johnny Brady. Big Johnny, deputy for Meath West, has lost two stone since last February. His new trim figure was attracting a lot of compliments when the Dáil reconvened on Wednesday.

“Politics is a very unhealthy business. You find yourself constantly grazing, and with all the functions, everyone is putting plates of food up to you. I decided it was time to do something because I was always tired in the evenings and had no energy coming home,” he tells us.

He says, after trying lots of options, he signed up with the Motivation Clinic in Navan and he hasn’t looked back. “It’s just a matter of healthy eating, and my tip is to drink plenty of water.”

Vying for some viaduct views

Politicians would walk over hot coals to get in front of a camera. So you can imagine the turmoil experienced by Dublin North deputies James Reilly (FG) and Michael Kennedy (FF) when they opened their newspapers and saw constituency colleague Darragh O’Brien (FF) among a three-strong Oireachtas Transport Committee delegation visiting the scene of the Malahide viaduct collapse.

And very impressive Darragh looked too, in his high-vis jacket and hard hat, in the company of deputy Fergus O’Dowd (FG) and Senator John Ellis (FF) as they discussed the situation with Iarnród Éireann’s chief civil engineer.

Nothing for it but for James and Michael to take emergency action. And so it was earlier this week that the two deputies made their own trip to the collapsed railway line, with the Iarnród Éireann photographer and company officials having to come out a second time so the peeved pair could be snapped kicking a few sleepers too.

How green was my car park?

There’s going to be ructions in Leinster House this week when the Senators return. The building will be back to running at full capacity, which means the car parks won’t be able to cope with the numbers.

Due to the reinstatement of Leinster Lawn on Merrion Street, the number of spaces available has been considerably reduced. Already this week, some TDs who normally park there have been unable to find a berth. “It’ll be a total nightmare for everybody. People are fuming with the Oireachtas Commission for voting to restore the lawn without having made alternative arrangements,” said one angry deputy.

Meanwhile, we hear that the Fine Gael party rooms have been spruced up. The underground area in the Leinster House 2000 wing has been fitted with a new lighting system, a nice lick of paint and the new party logo on the wall.

“We want to leave a nice room for Fianna Fáil when they go into Opposition, but they might have a bit of a problem with the blue carpet,” chortled a FG backbencher.

Molloy’s best practice

Big spender Rody Molloy isn’t running the show at Fás anymore, but that’s not to say that his expertise and experience is not appreciated among those in the higher echelons of the public sector.

The former director general of the State agency was forced to step down from his position after a series of embarrassing revelations about the lavish expense-account lifestyle he enjoyed. But amid all the eye-popping facts and figures, Rody’s mastery of the fine art of junketeering was the bit that stood out.

He’s still causing embarrassment to Government Ministers, who find that they have to explain and apologise for him – whether for his profligate ways with public money or the manner of his leaving. Happily for Rody, many continue to keep faith. He’s still chairman of the Institute of Public Administration, that august body of mandarins and academics dedicated to nurturing the highest standards in public service.

The IPA must be delighted to have such an astronomically well connected, not to mention extensively travelled, chairman.

Well, not quite, if whispers which came this column’s way are anything to go by. Some members are reportedly not happy with Molloy’s continuing chairmanship and have asked him to consider his position. Molloy, we understand, has declined to do so.

The IPA – “50 Years Celebrating Public Service” – describes itself as “the Irish national centre for development of best practice in public administration and public management.” Rody Molloy was appointed chairman of the board in June of 2008 and the term of office is two years.

When contacted yesterday, John Cullen, director general of the IPA, told us the board has not discussed Rody Molloy’s position and he knows of no plans for any such discussion.

If the chairman were to tender his resignation, would he accept it? “Of course you’d have to. That’s a matter for him.”

We wondered if, given all the revelations about the former Fás boss, it wasn’t something of an embarrassment to the IPA, with its commitment to “best practice in public administration and public management” to have Molloy continuing to serve as chairman. “That’s a matter of opinion.”

Parlais who francais?

Hervé Amoric, the Dublin-based reporter for France 24 Television, has his work cut out trying to get French-speaking politicians to interview. Happily, Minister for Finance Brian Lenihan was able to give him the low-down on Nama, in impeccable French, during the Fianna Fáil think-in in Athlone.

Brian is the only Cabinet member Hervé can call upon when he needs a quote, and Mons Lenihan is always happy to oblige. However, when it comes to speaking the language, Amoric says that Alan Dukes is by far the best. “Perfection” says Hervé. Garret FitzGerald and Labour’s Ruairí Quinn are also fluent. The reporter was wondering what to call Nama for his audience. Alan Dukes came to the rescue with “Agence Nationale De Gestion De L’Immobilier” or Angi, for short.

Meanwhile, back in Athlone, Brian Lenihan and his aunt Mary O’Rourke waxed nostalgic for the days when the venue for the think-in, the Hodson Bay Hotel, was the Lenihan family home. Mary settled in happily to a lady of the manor role, which she is anyway in Fianna Fáil.

She showed us the original house, the one purchased by her father and turned into a hotel. “Look, there it is, to the left of that drainpipe” said O’Rourke, pointing up from the lawn. “It was a Queen Anne drainpipe then, of course.”

Lenihan has many happy childhood memories of his time at the Hodson Bay, which stands on beautiful Lough Ree. “One of my first memories is of a big winter chill when I was about three- or four-years-old, and the entire lake froze over. My grandfather and father walked out across the lake, and I went with them for some of the way, but then I chickened out and ran back.” Then he gave a look as if to say: “I won’t be doing that with Nama.”

Coveney and Co tackle Pumas

Irish parliamentarians will meet their Argentinian counterparts on the rugby pitch this Tuesday when they play a challenge game at Old Belvedere’s ground in Dublin.

Organised by the tireless Fine Gael deputy, Jimmy Deenihan, the team, captained by FG deputy Simon Coveney, is hoping to overcome the Pumas with a mixture of brawn and animal cunning. All-Ireland medal holder Deenihan is also lining out, alongside party colleagues Michael D’Arcy, Damian English, James Reilly and Tom Sheahan. Fianna Fáil is represented by MJ Nolan, Barry Andrews and Conor Lenihan. The rugby-playing parliamentarians from Argentina are on a world tour at the moment, limbering up before their new parliamentary session opens. They play against Westminster next, before moving on to France.

Shatter steals show at Mill Theatre

Big night out in the Mill Theatre, Dundrum this Thursday. Sandwiched between Psycho Spaghettion the 23rd and A Tribute to Dolly Partonon the 25th is Fine Music and Gaels of Laughter: A celebration of Alan Shatter's 25 years in politics.

Who could resist? “Join us for an evening filled with music and entertainment featuring one of Ireland’s best-loved sopranos, Ellen McElroy. Three Tenors, The Satin Dolls, The Andrews Sisters Experience, John Matthews (lead singer from Riverdance), AbbaMia, cabaret artist James Barry, actor Kelly Shatter, singer and actor Michelle Buckley and more. Music by The Swing Cats.” Surely that should be the Swing Voters.

Shooting off with the press

We are delighted that Judge John Neilan was uninjured when he was struck by a pellet following the accidental discharge of a toy gun in his courthouse during the week.

A similar incident happened 20 years ago at the Department of Industry and Commerce, when the junior minister for science and technology convened a press conference to warn parents to be on the alert for a particularly dangerous toy gun. "Toy could cause horrific eye injury, parents warned" ran the subsequent report in The Irish Timesof April 29th, 1989.

“Once the trigger is pulled, there is a delay of some seconds before the bullet is fired and a curious child might turn it around to see what is happening”, said Dr Seán McCarthy of Tipperary South, holding up the little pistol.

Whereupon it went off and he shot journalist Lorna Siggins in the face.