She's wise, she's calm and she has a sense of humour. Marge Simpson is Britain's favourite mother, writes Róisín Ingle.
Marge Simpson is a better matriarchal role-model than Cherie Blair according to those surveyed by the Mothers' Union, an Anglican charity, in Britain this week. The blue-haired mum of three also got more votes than Victoria Beckham, Sharon Osbourne and some Scottish woman from day-time TV, beating them all to the ultimate motherly accolade. And no wonder. "Listen to your heart, not the voices in your head," is just one of Marge's child-focused pearls of wisdom. Cherie and Co never really stood a chance.
Unfortunately, Mothers' Union Ireland didn't conduct a similar headline-grabbing survey in the run-up to Mother's Day tomorrow but if it had, Marge would provide stiff competition for even the most modern Irish mammy.
Mary McAleese may preside over the country and a houseful of children but could she, like Marge, combine her child-rearing duties with a successful pretzel business? Could busy mother and RTÉ presenter Miriam O'Callaghan see the funny side of things if, like Marge, she went for a liposuction op and came out with a breast enhancement by mistake? And while, for obvious reasons, Colin Farrell's mother deserves every award going, it's unlikely she could put up with a husband like Homer Simpson who in 10 years has spent less on gifts for Marge than he has shelled out on temporary tattoos.
The survey results placing Springfield's finest ahead of Mrs Blair came as no surprise to Joanna McMinn, director of the National Women's Council.
"Marge is very wise and has a sense of humour which you need as a mother," she says. "She tries to do her best, which is all any mother can do." Rev Nancy Gillespie of Mothers' Union Ireland is in full agreement.
"She may be fictional but she is an ideal mother in the way that she is a kind of neutral figure in the middle of the mayhem of family life," she says. "She stays calm in what can often be extreme circumstances which every mother has to do at some point".
Despite George Bush Snr's famous quote that America should be "more like the Waltons and less like the Simpsons", the cartoon family has become the most celebrated in popular culture. Last year, Marge's doughnut-munching husband was even voted top of a poll to find the greatest ever American, beating Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King.
It can only be a matter of time before Bart wins an award for being the kind of son most mothers would like to have.
Marge's mothering skills may be admirable but harassed mums everywhere can take heart from some of the weaknesses in Marge's parenting philosophy. For example, she rarely changes her dress (a long green strapless number) or the children's clothes,except when she puts them in formal wear for church on Sunday. She very nearly had an affair with her bowling coach a few seasons ago and, extravagantly for the wife of a low-level employee in a nuclear power plant, she has her blue bee-hive styled twice a day.
Perhaps most damning of all is Marge's idea of a balanced diet which consists mostly of pancakes for breakfast and pork chops for dinner. But as well as giving Marge the nod, the Mothers' Union survey also revealed that those surveyed said it was more important for mothers to be devoted, supportive and patient than it was for them to be a whizz in the kitchen.
"People want their mothers to love and support them," says Mothers' Union chief executive Reg Bailey. "It is more important for mothers to talk honestly about life issues with children and to listen to their opinions, rather than just hand out money, presents or even to cook good food."
As Marge is fond of saying: "Let's all forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice-cream". What's not to admire?