Almost half of children feel relieved when their parents separate, according to the first Irish research which asked children about the effects of marriage breakdown on them.
The report, Children's Experiences of Parental Separation, was prepared by Dr Diane Hogan, Ms Ann Marie Halpenny and Dr Sheila Greene of the Children's Research Centre, Trinity College Dublin.
The report challenges the perception that Irish fathers lose touch with their children following marital separation. While this trend has been reported in the US and UK, the Irish children surveyed said they had good long-term relationships with their fathers. Grandparents on both sides are also managing to remain active in their grandchildren's lives.
The study was based on in-depth interviews with 60 children aged eight to 17. Most had parents who had been separated for five years or more.
Launching the Government-funded report yesterday, the Minister for Social and Family Affairs, Ms Coughlan, said she had read the 128-page document "cover to cover".
"The research is telling us the direction we need to take - which is to provide practical support for parents and children experiencing separation."
Urging people to be non-judgmental, she found it "quite encouraging that the research shows that children have good relations with both their parents and that they felt 'while Mum and Dad didn't get on, I can still get on with them individually'".
Children's experiences of parental separation cannot be defined as simply negative or positive, the authors concluded. Most children found both parental conflict and separation difficult, and felt relieved when the departure of one parent meant "the fighting stopped". But they also felt deep sadness about not living with both parents.
Children wanted to be kept informed about the changes in their families, without being drawn into their parents' conflict or asked to make major decisions about issues such as custody and access.
When parents were able to co-operate during and following separation and be true "co-parents", children fared best. They were unhappiest when one of the parents disappeared, or was inconsistent - forgetting important dates such as birthdays.
The research was welcomed by the Family Mediation Service, the Family Lawyers' Association and the Mater Dei Institute of Education. Rival researchers Dr Eilis Hennessy and Prof Gabriel Kiely of UCD praised the quality of the study. The authors recommend a broad range of supports for families. Children need group counselling and peer support groups, while parents require post-separation counselling and information services to help them communicate and maintain positive relationships.
The Minister said the new Family Support Agency, which advertised yesterday for its first chief executive, received increased funding of €17 million in the Budget. The report would be top of the list of issues for the new agency to consider.
Much support for children of broken marriages is being provided by school chaplains, said Prof James Norman, Head of Chaplaincy Studies at the Mater Dei Institute of Education. "There is an urgent need for the number of school chaplains in second-level schools to be increased . . . the vast majority of classroom teachers see pastoral care as part of their ordinary work, [yet] teachers do not believe that they are adequately trained to deal with their pupil's pastoral needs."