Dear Maeve, don't let your readers be too brisk and dismissive with me. I suppose I am what younger people call a victim though that's not the way I see myself. I'm 50, married to a man much my superior in class, intellect and general quickness of mind. We married when I was pregnant nearly 30 years ago, and, yes, I'm still grateful to him.
The problem is Christmas. He works hard at a responsible job and at this time of year he loves to entertain, and to have the house full. We have a huge family gathering for lunch on Christmas Day, of four children, four spouses, five grandchildren and two cousins. That's 17 people.
To my mind they all come as a favour to us, but my husband has no idea that this is so. Up to now I have felt it all worth doing, no matter how hard . . . tell me it's easy to keep gravy hot for 17 people!
But this year I feel very tired and a little resentful that they all do so little to help. They seem to sit and wait to be served. Now I am not going to make a stand and demand equal participation, because then they just wouldn't think it worthwhile to come. This ritual survives just because good old Mum appears to love shopping and preparing cooking, serving and clearing away this feast.
Can anyone come up with a tactful, even devious way I can get the thing to work without becoming a basket case?
- Sincerely, Brigid
What do you think?
Send your views as soon as possible to: PO Box 6737, Dun Laoghaire, Co Dublin. Writers of letters published will receive a £25 book token. This problem will be dealt with in Maeve's next monthly column on Saturday, December 4th.