Victims of violence in Northern Ireland must come face to face with those who have committed crimes against them if peace is to be sustained, according to South Africa's new ambassador to Ireland, Ms Melanie Verwoerd.
The ambassador delivered the first annual women's lecture at the Glencree Centre for Reconciliation summer school in Co Wicklow yesterday.
The theme of this year's event was "The rocky road of reconciliation: hard questions about reconciliation which we don't ask".
Ms Verwoerd said the experience of the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission had convinced her of the importance of victims seeing the faces of their former enemies.
"At the heart of the processes of forgiveness and reconciliation lies the ability to look beyond the blood on the enemy's hands, to put a face to the horrible deeds," she said.
Ms Verwoerd recently criticised the Bush administration for its threat to boycott a United Nations conference on racism being hosted by South Africa this month.
The US has threatened to stay away from the forum unless African states drop calls for explicit apologies for slavery and colonialism. She told the summer school audience that her experiences in South Africa had taught her to understand that some victims desired vengeance for crimes committed against them and their loved ones.
"Of course what was wrong remains wrong and it remains true that the person you are looking at has committed the wrong," she said.
"But to overcome the all-too-human but self-destructive desire to hurl the fires of hell in the face of those who have grievously harmed you, it is crucial to put a face to the deed."
Meeting the person who had committed an act of violence against a loved one could help separate the "sinner" from the "sin", she said. "Despite what he has done the wrongdoer retains his dignity and worth as a person."
She said victims must remember that their enemies are also children of God.
"A God who lives in the clouds might have the luxury to think twice about the need for this inclusive remembrance. Few of us sharing the same planet have this choice - we simply have to learn to see our enemies, face to face."
