Young Tory Rowan Atkinson speaking at a party conference:
I know a lot of immigrants. Personally. And they're perfectly nice people. They're black, of course - which is a shame - but, honestly, some of them can do jobs almost as well as white people. And I like curry. I do. But now that we've got the recipes, is there really any need for them to stay?"
Janet Street-Porter chat show:
Street-Porter (Pamela Stephenson with huge teeth and grotesque Cockney accent): "Billy Connolly, when you first came to London, did people fink you spoke funnay?"