O'Rourke criticises 'trite' condolences

Senator Mary O'Rourke has criticised the use of clichéd and unhelpful expressions of condolence when people are grieving.

Senator Mary O'Rourke has criticised the use of clichéd and unhelpful expressions of condolence when people are grieving.

She was speaking at the publication yesterday of Grieving: A Beginner's Guide, by Dr Jerusha Hull McCormack.

Mrs O'Rourke, whose husband died five years ago, said she was fed up with "trite" phrases such as "he's in a better place now" and people asking "'how are you feeling now?', as if a grieving person was an "object of some sort".

She said she had prayed to her late husband for a nomination victory on the morning of her "infamous convention" last month, but she now wished he could have told her to "keep her tongue quiet".

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Mrs O'Rourke said that the sadness of losing her husband had not lessened, but writing and talking about him had been her most important therapy.

Dr Hull McCormack said: "We have become quite Americanised in that there is now less discourse about death. It has therefore become very difficult to grieve in a world where you are supposed to be happy and successful."