The traditional office Christmas do, where bad behaviour was the norm, is now a thing of the past, writes Fionola Meredith.
The office Christmas party has finally come of age. All the old clichés - the sleazy broom-cupboard embraces, the hilariously inventive antics atop the photocopier - have been dumped in the recycle bin. Now, office parties are dignified, restrained affairs, with all participants tucked up safely and soberly in bed well before the witching hour.
Well, maybe that's not strictly true, but there's no doubt that growing numbers of businesses are turning away from the drink-fuelled, promiscuity-littered bashes of the past to quieter, smaller and more family-orientated events.
Why? Patricia Callan, assistant director of ISME, the Irish Small and Medium Enterprises Association, says that while time and money constraints are factors in this seasonal down-shifting, other issues are far more pressing: "If a party is organised through work, employers have a duty to protect their staff. The aftermath of a party where a lot of drink has been taken can be awful. In the past, problems have included abuse of management staff, sexual harassment, rape, and criminal damage such as trashed hotel rooms.
"Now we're seeing much more sensible approaches - for example, rather than having one big function, employers often arrange smaller departmental parties, with no overnight stays in hotels.Some employers are getting more creative, more imaginative in their approach: I heard of one company who arranged an ice-skating party for staff. Of course, this can throw up new problems - we live in an increasingly litigious society, and an employer could be liable if an injury occurred at the ice-rink."
Anxious employers, fearful of possible litigation, are advised by HR consultants to put up "party policy" information on office noticeboards prior to the staff "do", clarifying what constitutes unacceptable behaviour - such as harassment, bullying and fighting - and reminding staff that since the party is technically a work activity, normal disciplinary procedures will be applied if necessary. Ahead of the party, employers should even make a point of informing all employees of the company's view on romantic affairs between colleagues.
Would anyone feel in the mood for some festive fun after all that? Callan believes that since smaller companies often know their employees well, there's far less likely to be trouble at any social event: "These parties tend to be much more personal and friendly, with employees' partners asked along too. A few managers even invite staff around to their own homes for a meal."
Pat Barry, director of communications at Diageo Ireland, the company which owns Guinness, agrees that time has been called on the traditional office romp: "The old concept of the rip-roaring office party doesn't exist any more. Here at Diageo, each department organises its own celebration. Often, that just means Christmas dinner at the brewery itself, but Human Resources are trying a new one this year: they're off to see The Thrills at the RDS."
And it's not just the character of the office Christmas party that's changing. Some businesses are leaving Christmas itself out of the "do", choosing instead to hold the party at a more convenient time of year. A spokeswoman for bookmakers Paddy Power confirmed that they don't hold their office get-together until the new year: "There are so many sporting events over Christmas that we just don't have the time. So we're all going down to Limerick in January. Actually, it's much nicer this way, because it gives you something to look forward to once Christmas is over."
But some workers haven't got a job to look forward to, let alone a Christmas party. Staff at the recently closed Bewley's cafés in Grafton and Westmoreland Streets had to make do with a "finger-food" buffet on Tuesday, November 30th, the night the cafés shut their doors for the last time. Deirdre Clark of Campbell Catering, which owns the cafés, says that the event wasn't a Christmas "do", but merely a way of marking the occasion. Maybe no-one had the heart to pull a cracker.
While the trend is very much towards low-key events, surely some companies still push the boat out in spectacular style? Where better to inquire than at MBNA Ireland's offices in Carrick-on-Shannon, voted best place to work in Europe earlier this year. So what delights do they lay on for their ultra-contented staff?
"Er . . . nothing actually," confessed a spokesperson for MBNA Ireland. "We don't actually do a Christmas party. But we do have a cornboil instead, during the summer." A cornboil? "All our offices throughout the world have them; they're a tradition which started over 15 years ago. A cornboil is like a big family picnic for all our employees in Ireland, hosted by the company managers; about 2,000 people attend. It's always held some time between May and September, on a weekday afternoon. Partners and children of staff are invited; we hire marquees, lay on food and drink, provide bouncy castles and face-painting for the kids. It's our way of saying thank you to our employees."
Despite all the innovative approaches on the office party circuit, some much-loved Christmas customs simply refuse to go away. Employees of Superquinn have long enjoyed the "canteen do", when shop managers traditionally don fancy dress and serve their staff Christmas dinner. According to deputy chairman Eamonn Quinn, it's all about boosting morale: "It's a fun, informal time when we recognise the effort staff have put in throughout the year."
Having your boss serve you turkey and sprouts while dressed as a French maid must indeed feel pleasantly subversive. And the pantomime theme continues with other seasonal celebrations at Superquinn. Eamonn Quinn hints that a day when everybody is asked to dress entirely in pink could be on the cards.
The office Christmas party may no longer be about swinging drunkenly from the chandeliers with your boss's toupée clamped between your teeth, but there's no sign of this venerable institution dying out either. Research shows that employees value social events organised by their employer far more than other incentives - such as free gym membership - designed to encourage staff confidence and loyalty. A survey by UK recruitment organisation Reed found that the most morale-boosting social events are "about improving personal relationships, not big budgets". Parties that include staff and partners, and are designed to "cut across hierarchies and departments" are most in demand.
But some workers simply refuse to get into the party spirit, no matter what seasonal treats their employer lays on for them. According to IrishJobs.ie, 8 per cent of employees take the day off to avoid the office shindig. Fifteen per cent pretend to be double-booked, a further 8 per cent said they would rather do unpaid overtime to avoid the festive activities, and 14 per cent would rather spend the day doing housework than attend.
Saddest of all, 19 per cent said that the event would be markedly improved if the boss didn't attend. Now that's just plain ungrateful.
The Office Party - A Christmas List
HOT
• Sipping a sophisticated glass of Kir Royale with colleagues before sitting down together to enjoy a dignified midweek Christmas lunch at an upmarket restaurant
• Seeking imaginative alternatives to the usual line-up - a trip to the theatre, the cinema, or even ten-pin bowling can make staff feel special
• Inviting partners along to the Christmas do - it's the grown-up and effective way to minimise next-day embarrassment due to wine-induced party indiscretions
• Abandoning the Christmassy theme altogether - why not have an office barbecue party in June instead? It's warmer, and staff will be less tempted to wear baubles as earrings
NOT
• Indulging in "hilarious" japes with the office photocopier. It's been done to death and, let's face it, some things are best kept under wraps
• Participating in "Secret Santa" - the anxiety about what gift to buy, the disappointment when you pull a foetid bottle of 10-year-old perfume out of the sack, the gritted teeth as you thank the colleague responsible
• Wearing flashing "Rudolph" antlers - need we say more? Bad idea, period
• Stripping - 5 per cent of employees confess to getting their kit off at the office party
• Doing the full monty on a table while gyrating to Madonna's Like A Virgin is never going to enhance your career prospects