Dáil Sketch:Bertie Ahern was in Clare yesterday, officially opening the "Cliffs of Moher Experience".
Michael McDowell was doing Mr Ahern's usual gig in the Dáil, experiencing the Order of Business and staring over an industrial relations cliff in the run-up to the general election.
Labour's Liz McManus noted that there was a real danger that all the key workers in the health services - nurses, administrative staff and hospital consultants - would be in dispute with the Government in the next few months.
Mr McDowell was grim faced. The inevitable analogy with Wednesday night's soccer debacle surfaced when Ms McManus remarked that the Government's "dismal" record on promised legislation was only matched by "our dismal performance in the football match yesterday".
Mr McDowell said he would not comment on the match because he did not see it. He was, no doubt, canvassing in Dublin South East and dreaming up the slogan for the election poster on the pole in the Ranelagh triangle.
The Ireland soccer manager must be relieved by his remark to Ms McManus: "I can guarantee that nobody is suggesting that Steven Staunton should step aside for the deputy to take over." Referring to Ms McManus's Wicklow political base, Minister for Foreign Affairs Dermot Ahern, no doubt a Drogheda United fan, remarked: "Bray was never renowned for its soccer." Really, Minister? What about Bray Wanderers? Green Party TD Dan Boyle rushed to Ms McManus's defence. "Given that the Tánaiste represents the San Marino of Irish politics, he is not in any position to judge anybody's performance," said Mr Boyle.
Sinn Féin's Caoimhghín Ó Caoláin was declared offside by Ceann Comhairle Dr Rory O'Hanlon when he complained the House had no time to reflect on whether the European Communities Bill should have been debated yesterday.
"There are obnoxious elements in it and the powers the Tánaiste would like to see vested in his office as a result," said Mr Ó Caoláin, darkly.
Continuing on the sporting theme, Labour's Joe Costello referred to events in Croke Park.
Addressing Mr McDowell, he said: "I presume he was not at Croke Park last Saturday, with 80,000-plus fans, for the first game under lights, and did not see the rather obnoxious behaviour of some of those fans after the match," said Mr Costello.
There was, he added, a large degree of public urination in side streets beside Croke Park.
"Is the Minister considering raising the derisory €2 fine applying to public urination?" he asked. "Will he impose on-the-spot fines, as requested by the Garda for some time?" Mr McDowell said the recently-published Fines Bill would increase the general level of fines across a range of offences.
Gardaí use the Public Order Act to deal with such offensive behaviour, he added.
The House returned to routine political blood sport later when the Opposition called for quorums to force Government backbenchers out of their offices and into the chamber to make up the required numbers.
