Pills to remember and pop songs to forget

Radio Review: It will come as no consolation to stressed-out Leaving Cert students that in the future their own children will…

Radio Review: It will come as no consolation to stressed-out Leaving Cert students that in the future their own children will be able to boost their memories with a simple pill. Endless hours spent revising will be massively reduced once the new generation of cognitive enhancement drugs come out of the labs and onto the shelves, writes Bernice Harrison.

In Discovery: Brave New Brain (BBC World Service, Wednesday), Arthur Kaplan from the University of Pennsylvania pointed out that we'd all heard a great deal about the genome project for mapping human genes, but little is heard about the exploding knowledge in how the brain works. The goldmine potential offered by an ageing and affluent western population beset with age-related memory loss is prompting drug companies to invest massively in trying to understand how memory works. Once that is cracked, it opens up the probability that perfectly able-minded people will take these memory enhancers to boost their own abilities - what student, or anyone for that matter, could resist? All this opens up a moral and ethical can of worms: will only the rich end up getting the drugs? Could employers make employees take them to boost productivity? Expect to hear more about neuro-ethics in the future.

There was a bit too much memory of the "Dublin in the rare ould times" variety in Ireland's Markets (RTÉ Radio 1, Wednesday). Now that Pat Kenny has gone off on his enviably long holiday, RTÉ1's morning schedule has started its summer rejig with Paddy O'Gorman coming in with yet another reprise of his man with a mic schtick. This time he's going around Ireland's markets, which range from posh ones selling organic veg to less glam affairs, featuring knock-off designer gear and car mats, so there should be lots of potential. It started with a visit to Dublin Corporation's fish and fruit market and no points for guessing who O'Gorman talked to first - yes, it was the Moore Street trader, in buying her fish. O'Gorman obviously thought she was great value altogether given the amount of time he gave her. There just wasn't enough in the programme about the vast commercial enterprise that the market is or even a whole lot about fish and fruit.

Given that he was talking to the middle men, it would have been interesting to find out basic stuff such as why potatoes are so expensive or where does all that tuna come from or even if the supermarkets' distribution hubs are killing the markets. The biggest fault was that there was no atmosphere and, oddly, no sense of being in a bustling market.

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On Monday, 2FM celebrated 25 years on air with a day-long broadcast that, among other things, was a reminder that three of the best-known names on the station - Gerry Ryan, Larry Gogan and Dave Fanning - have been in the same job for a quarter of a century.

Each of the station's DJs was given an hour to play their favourite songs and it was a low-key affair; Ryan captured the mood by telling us he was playing whatever he could find in the drawer and anyway the programme was prerecorded. Though, given the weekend that was in it, with all eyes and ears on the beaches at Normandy, the pitch of the celebrations, whether it was intended that way or not, was spot on.

Many of the songs heard during the day popped up again on Vox Pop (BBC Radio 2, Tuesday), in an hilarious programme presented by Fi Glover on a subject that has always vexed her: Why are ballads, specifically power ballads, so irredeemably naff yet so uniquely appealing? Why do "sad songs say so much?" and if "Hello, is it me you're looking for" is one of the cringiest lyrics ever written, how come it made Lionel Richie rich? Richie said that ballads are such big business because they are usually about simple, universal themes, and Chris de Burgh explained at length and in great depth just what the lyrics to Lady in Red mean. "Blimey, that's complicated, Chris," said Glover, "and I thought it was just about a fit bird in a nice dress."

Tim Don't Cry For Me, Argentina Rice said that the secret to writing a great ballad is that the lyrics have to make sense. Not quite sure that applies to Celine Dion's grade A belter My Heart Will Go On (and on and on) or Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart. A psychologist tried to explain why we are so obsessed with chasing happiness but yet we love nothing better than a good old wallow in a misery-fuelled ballad. Apparently listening to Candle in the Wind or any other power ballad is like therapy, a sort of emotional release. Think of that next time you crank up the volume of the car radio to sing along to (Everything I Do) I Do It For You and marvel at your memory's ability to recall so many words of a song you can't stand.