Neil O'Byrne, a senior planner with South Dublin County Council, is determined to prove that planners are not a dour, humourless bunch. At the Irish Planning Institute's annual conference in Kilkenny this week, he circulated a collection of planning humour. Some examples: Honesty: Planners are always honest in matters of the environment and human relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep them away from politicians, developers, the public, romantic interests and other people who can't handle the truth.
But the O'Byrne file concedes that planners sometimes bend the truth. They say things that sound like lies, but technically are not because nobody could be expected to believe them. The complete list of planners lies is listed below:
(1) You will be fully consulted before anything happens.
(2) That decision will be made shortly.
(3) I see no problem with that.
O'Byrne's satirical tract also says that planners hate risk. This is understandable, given that when a planner makes one little mistake, the public, politicians and the media will treat it like its a big deal or something. Have you ever noticed that when a planning objective is implemented, it's usually called an architectural achievement, but when it isn't, it's called a planning disaster?
Finally, a planner with a smile is a planner who knows who to blame when things go wrong.