THE novelist Charles Dickens wrote in Little Dorrit that, whatever was required to be done, the Circumlocution Office was ahead of all public departments in the art of "how not to do it". A survey of the implementation of State policy for the promotion of bilingualism shows the spirit of the Circumlocution Office is alive and well in the Irish public sector.
For one thing, only 158 out of 181 State bodies bothered to fill in the Bord na Gaeilge questionnaire, a response the report chirpily describes as "tremendously successful". There were a few "cute hoors" even among the 158 respondents because 97 of these bodies did not reply to a specific question about willingness to respond in Irish to requests received "as Gaeilge".
The late Myles na Gopaleen would revel in the "leithsceal" offered by one public body for answering the telephone in English only: "The Irish name is too lengthy for the receptionist".
And Mr Alan Dukes, a keen gaeilgeoir, needs to have a chat with his civil servants because we are told that the "Department of Transport, Energy and Communications reported reverting back to "English because it caused confusion for the public".
His Cabinet colleague and fellow Irish-speaker, Mr Proinsias De Rossa, will have to get the whip out as well because the "Department of Social Welfare indicated that there is a policy in place, but not all locations comply with it".
Only four Government Departments say they always respond in Irish to calls received in the first national language. They are the Departments of the Taoiseach; Foreign Affairs; Equality and Law Reform; and Arts, Culture and the Gaeltacht. The Department of Agriculture said it "always" responds in the language of the caller in Galway and "frequently" does so in Kerry.
Some 31 organisations said the reason they always answered calls in English was a lack of linguistic proficiency on the switchboard. Asked if they proposed assessing "staffing requirements for delivery of a bilingual service", An Post replied stroppily that such an analysis had not been, and would not be, undertaken.
The office of the Director of Public Prosecutions said the question was not relevant to it "because of non-contact with the public".
The foreword to the report finds encouragement in the fact that 17 per cent of State bodies display public notices welcoming the use of Irish. But the report complains that "only 17 per cent" adhere to this practice. Is this a case of speaking with forked tongue?