Irish morality remains intact, Merriman School hears

romantic love has become the new religion in Ireland and throughout the West.

There has been a moral panic in Ireland about the sexualisation of young people and the spread of pornography.

There is little evidence of a moral decay and a collapse in the social order in Ireland despite all the temptations for people to indulge themselves, the Merriman Summer School has heard. and fulfil their pleasures and desires.

“It may well be then that love is the new religion in the West, the new ideology that keeps consumer capitalist society together,” said Tom Inglis, professor of sociology at UCD.

In his address entitled The Triumph of Love, Prof Inglis said: "However, it may well be that if we are to transcend consumer capitalism we will have to find new ways of loving, new ways of caring for each other beyond our love of family.

On the ‘faith in love’ here, Prof Inglis said: “There have been constant moral panics in Ireland about what will happen with the sexualisation of young people, the spread of pornography, the increased possibility of free and easy sex.

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He pointed out: “The reality is that while social life has become increasingly fast, dense and complex, people move in different times and spaces from one another. Couples and families have become used to living apart but together.”

On the growth of the notion of ‘romantic love’, Prof Inglis said: “Some people complain about the Angelus being broadcast by RTÉ, but nobody complains about the endless songs, soaps, serials, novels, films and magazines that are built on stories of love. Media messages about finding love, holding onto it, losing it and then finding it again, are central to creating and sustaining meaning and relationships in Ireland and throughout the West.

He said: “Finding and being in love have become as central to living a good life as being a good religious person and seeking salvation once were. In this sense, romantic love, although often sustained through religion, is increasingly secular. In this respect, romantic love has become the new religion in Ireland and throughout the West.”

Prof Inglis said that we can now talk about the triumph of love “within the context of the decline in the influence of family and community, in the increased secularisation and sexualisation of society, in the increase in migration and dislocation and, perhaps most of all, in the pervasiveness of a culture of self-indulgence within consumer capitalist society”.

He said: “The evidence suggests that despite all the slings and arrows of outrageous temptations, despite all the emotional upheavals and conflicts in everyday life, most people are able to find and remain in loving relationships. The introduction of contraception and divorce have not lead the collapse of family life. Nor will, I suspect, the introduction of same-sex marriage.

Prof Inglis remarked: “In some respects, the conflation of love with romantic love has been perhaps a necessary consequence of modernity, of the increase in mobility, of living in cities, and of decline of the strength of community and religion. People have to believe in romantic love.

He said: “They have to believe in the possibility of a couple falling in love and then living in love together, marrying and perhaps having children. However, we all know that love is much more open and complex and that, for example, the love a mother or father has for their children, will often be far deeper and long-lasting than the love a couple have for one another.

He added: “Indeed my study revealed that the love couples, parents and children have for each other are often part of dense web of meaning that is woven around grandparents, siblings, cousins, friends, neighbours and so forth.

“It seems to me, then, that when it comes to meaning, love and care, the primary institution in society is the family. And what makes the family different from other institutions, particularly the state, market, church and the media, is that while it is shaped by the discourses and practices of these institutions, it survives primarily through the discourse and practice of love.

Prof Inglis observed: “One might think that with the triumph of love, the world might be a more loving place.

He said: “There is, however, a dark side to love. As much as it brings people together and creates a strong sense of bonding and belonging, it seems inevitably to lead to the exclusion of others. This is one of unintended consequences of group formation.

He added: “It is not just that outsiders are seen as different, they are often seen as inferior and as a threat to the survival of the group. We see this in family life. Families survive and thrive on being able to keep love going but this often involves maintaining boundaries and excluding others.

He said: “Families operate as small fortresses. They are rigorously enforced boundary mechanisms about who enters the family, particularly the home, who has right of entry and when, where, how and why they are allowed in. Our love and commitment to our families, almost inevitably leads to inequality. The unintended consequence of looking after and caring for those we love, is that we care less about others.”

Gordon Deegan

Gordon Deegan

Gordon Deegan is a contributor to The Irish Times