In time for Christmas, Leinster House witnessed a heartwarming Willy Wonka moment on the plinth yesterday.

It was down to John Perry, the Charlie Bucket of Irish politics, who had just confounded colleagues and commentators by winning his heart’s desire: a golden ticket to the general election.

And breaking some hearts in headquarters in the process.

Perry was considered a no-hoper in political quarters when he announced he intended to legally challenge his failure to win a place on the Fine Gael ticket at the selection convention for his omnibus constituency of Sligo, Leitrim, South Donegal and West Cavan. He cited a number of irregularities, which he argued made the result unsafe.

Casinos

Leinster House veterans thought he was wasting his time on what could be a catastrophically-expensive frolic.

Selection conventions are like casinos: the house always wins. In politics, party headquarters is the house.

All John wanted was a rerun of the convention. But after a number of expensive days in the High Court and evidence the conduct of the ballot was embarrassingly slipshod, to put it mildly, Fine Gael folded its tent and initiated peace talks.

As a result, the plum-haired dandy from Sligo was awarded his golden ticket to line out for the party without having to bother with any rerun of the selection process.

The cost of this strange court battle between a sitting TD and his party will be enormous. Who pays?

Perry, who hasn’t a bean and is in the process of repaying major bank debts, appeared untroubled by questions about the final bill when talking about his success.

All he could say was that, under the terms of his settlement with Fine Gael, he cannot comment on the matter of costs.

One suspects that Fine Gael headquarters can’t either, as they’re probably still speechless.

Vindication

Their dogged deputy, meanwhile, was loudly claiming vindication, without so much as a peep out of the mothership.

Perry, trademark silk square billowing from the top pocket of his pinstripes, spoke about sticking it to The Man, with no small sense of achievement.

“We are talking about democracy. We are talking about the rules of the party being applied fairly and honestly.

“It’s important that HQ have the respect and recognition and understanding to give support to that mandate,” he said, underlining his view that sitting TDs should be given the automatic right to go again before the people who elected them to the Dáil.

He says Enda Kenny gave him that assurance. “I’m disappointed that did not happen.”

Doubtless, Enda is too. As leader of the party of law and order, he can’t have been pleased with the court accounts of how Perry’s convention was conducted.

Of course, he didn’t just have the law on his side (or so he believes: the case was settled so we’ll never know). He also had the Lord.

He thanked his legal team, his wife Marie – “the rock of my life” – his family, his supporters and God. “I would like to acknowledge the huge role of my constituents: the amount of Mass cards and bouquets, and candles that have been lit, and right around the constituency, to ensure that justice would prevail.”

We understand the priest asked for prayers for Perry during last Sunday’s Mass in Ballymote.

Hurricane Charlie

“There haven’t been as many candles lit around south Sligo since Hurricane Charlie knocked out the power for five days,” joked one Government TD. The fast-talking Perry said that he took his case for the voters who endorsed him on four different occasions.

“For people that know John Perry, know that I fight for my constituents and this was a case that was true to the form of John Perry; that I felt a wrong was done . . . and I could just not rest with myself without taking the action that I took,” he said.

His performance on the plinth began to sound like an Oscar acceptance speech.

“I would like to thank God for this day. This day is a day for justice . . .”

A mortifying outcome for Fine Gael’s head office and for the Taoiseach, who has been forced to give the TD the golden ticket, and in return has had his ass . . . assessment of Perry handed back to him on a plate.