Micheál Martin looked shook when he arrived on Tuesday night for the EU summit in Slovenia.
People wondered why.
Well, it was a long flight. And he was probably still exhausted from launching the National Development Plan the day before.
But another possible explanation emerged on Wednesday morning: De Caawl from Yaawl.
No wonder poor Micheál was a bit green around the gills.
That he was able to continue at all is testament to the Taoiseach’s sense of duty and inner fortitude. One can only imagine his emotional turmoil after taking that bombshell call from Youghal in which backbencher James O’Connor threatened to resign from Fianna Fáil if two road projects in east Cork were left out of the NDP.
Realising on Sunday that the Castlemartyr bypass and Fota Road upgrade had been overlooked must have taken all enjoyment out of racing enthusiast O’Connor’s few days in Paris during Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe weekend, or at least that’s what some of his colleagues were sympathetically saying.
Despite his anguish, Micheál bravely struggled on before returning to Dublin on Thursday for high-level talks with the youngest TD in the Dáil. Following tense discussions, the Taoiseach said “Sure we’ll stick ’em in so”, giving James the assurances he had so vigorously sought.
“I am thrilled,” trilled the first-time TD (now being compared to maverick politician Marc MacSharry, who has left the Fianna Fáil fold), before dropping another bombshell by announcing he was going to remain in the party.
“A switch has been flicked,” he told Patricia Messenger on the Cork Today show on C103 on Friday.
Not since Helen McEntee gave birth or the time Sinn Féin went 10 points clear in the polls have the spirits of an entire nation been lifted so comprehensively.
But while he was abroad representing the country, the Taoiseach was not to know the “Baby Marc” affair would end so well. It had to explain why he looked out of sorts.
But then the real reason surfaced.
Micheál arrived in the Slovenian capital on Tuesday evening with little time to spare before the leaders’ dinner. When he landed at Ljubljana airport, there was an official car waiting, engine running, to bring him to the picturesque Brdo Castle estate. The driver screeched away as soon as the Irish party got in, clock hitting 150km/h within seconds as they were rushed through the rolling hills of rural Slovenia at breakneck speed.
Which is why Micheál arrived on time, but looking shell-shocked.
Security was very tight at the summit to discuss the will-they-won’t-they plans to grant accession to the western Balkans.
No-nonsense Slovenian security prevented Government press secretary Paul Clarkson from entering the business dinner with the Taoiseach without the requisite “purple badge”. Despite producing an evidently purple badge, it was rejected.
Officials identified him as a photographer, whereupon Clarkson, in an effort to solve the issue, said he would be taking photographs of his boss hob-nobbing inside with his fellow leaders.
When asked for his camera, he produced his iPhone, which didn’t go down well. Inside, delegations could not sit together but had to go to different parts of the room depending on the colour of their badges.
The following morning, the Taoiseach’s driver and protection officer was also prevented from accompanying him into the hall because he had the wrong-colour badge.
He had to sit in an adjoining hotel with his disgruntled EU counterparts. As they were trudging in, visiting journalists were being thrown out because they also had the wrong-colour badge.
But back to the first night’s dinner.
Phones were left at the door, the badgeless leaders setting a fine example for their cabinet members to ignore. They dined on beef cheeks “cooked for 13 hours at the precise temperature of 74 degrees, on reduction sauce with smoked potatoes and meat stock”.
Also on the menu was migration, Europe’s place in the world and the energy crisis. We hear the whole thing went on until nearly 2am. But it was “all business” as opposed to anything remotely enjoyable.
It is not true that Micheál hired an Uber for his return trip to the airport.
Where there’s a will, there should be a Bill
The Registration of Wills Bill was up for discussion in the Seanad on Wednesday.
The need to introduce legislation establishing a register of wills has been under discussion since 2005 but three previous attempts to introduce it failed because of endless arguments over the issue. This week was the Bill’s fourth time up before the Oireachtas. It is now “high time for serious engagement” between government departments and agencies and “other stakeholders such as the Law Society”, said Minister for Social Protection Heather Humphreys.
She asked for a nine-month delay to get “everybody in the one room to thrash this out once and for all” so a decision can be taken on the Bill, “which has been knocking around the Houses of the Oireachtas for longer than me and many others”.
All speakers were in favour of the move, citing the difficulty people often have when trying to find out if there is a will in existence and where it is stored. There were stories of wills getting lost or altered or destroyed by aggrieved siblings.
“The aim is simple. It is to assist in asserting upon the death of a person whether a will exists and in whose custody it is kept. It is no more and no less,” said NUI Senator Rónán Mullen.
He mentioned the old line “Where there’s a will, there’s a relative”, then recalled the episode of Glenroe where “Dinny Byrne had some expectations of inheriting from his uncle Peter. The bad news was conveyed to him by Fr Devereux that there was no will. He said, ‘Dinny, I am afraid your Uncle Peter died intestate’, to which Dinny replied, ‘I thought it was the heart’.”
The Roscommon law
Fine Gael Senator Seán Kyne is concerned with one aspect of the wills Bill.
“The register of wills should be kept in the General Register Office, Oifig an Ard-Chláraitheora, government offices in Roscommon,” he began, reading aloud from the document before setting it down. He paused.
“Now, if this is the same crowd that are dealing with the records of deaths abroad, I wouldn’t have a lot of confidence in them.”
Kyne, a minister of state in the last government, explained how he helped bring about legislation on behalf of parents who couldn’t get a death certificate in this country after their child had died abroad.
“So we changed the legislation in this House. When I contacted the Ard-Chláraitheora in Roscommon, I was politely told: ‘Just because ye changed legislation up there in Dublin doesn’t mean we jump to your tune down here. We have to update and change the computer systems’, and things like that,” he told the Seanad, still clearly very annoyed about what had happened.
“Last time I heard, they were on strike,” he added contemptuously.
“So if you’re trying to get this office to look after wills, never mind a nine-month delay, a nine-year delay might be more appropriate ... because a kick in the proverbial backside is what that office would want, with the way that they respected people who lost loved ones abroad.”
He was so wound up he repeated what was said to him. His Seanad colleagues were a bit taken aback. They hadn’t been expecting this sudden onslaught against workers in the GRO.
“That’s the office, Oifig an Ard-Chláraitheora,” spat Sean. “ ‘Just because ye do things in Dublin and changed the law, we basically act as we want down here, in our office.’ ”
That should go down well in Roscommon.
Chu denied entry yet again
If God loves a trier, then former lord mayor of Dublin and Green Party chairwoman Hazel Chu is truly blessed.
Hazel was among the large number of politicians attending Wednesday’s “March for Maternity”, calling for the ending of Covid-19 restrictions that exclude partners from attending appointments and services in some maternity units. The members of the Oireachtas Women’s Caucus were to the forefront of the demonstration when it reached Leinster House.
As the protest drew to a close, a 20ft-long scroll featuring “a fraction” of the heartbreaking stories of pregnancy loss and distress endured by parents was unfurled and presented to the female TDs and Senators, who undertook to bring it into Leinster House for the attention of the Minister for Health. “Push, Minister Donnelly, Push!” read on one of the placards outside.
The Oireachtas women marched to the main gates with the scroll. The hydraulic ramp across the entrance was up, and they stopped for a time while the ushers surveyed the scene. While many restrictions have been lifted in Kildare Street, the ban on visitors to the complex is still in force.
As they proceeded forward, the ramp was lowered to let them pass, but not before the chief usher shimmered into view for a discreet word with Chu, who was marching on in with her fellow politicos.
He very politely turned her away. Former mayor Chu, who went on a controversial solo run for a seat in the Seanad earlier this year when she failed to get Green Party backing to contest a byelection, was also unsuccessful in that attempt to get into the Oireachtas.
Meanwhile, a caucus member told us that Stephen Donnelly wasn’t around to receive the scroll, “so we rolled it up and shoved it into his pigeonhole”.
Leo’s Trumpian gaffe
As his four-year tour of duty comes to an end, RTÉ’s Washington correspondent, Brian O’Donovan, has brought out a book about his US experience.
Four Years in Cauldron has a lot of very interesting background material from Leo Varadkar about his various meetings with Donald Trump – from the White House to Capitol Hill to Shannon Airport. The then taoiseach seemed to get on very well with Trump, who appeared to like him.
He also talks about “polite” Mike Pence, who is very proud of his Irish roots. Varadkar was hoping to build a relationship with the then US vice-president which might help “tilt” the White House and State Department a little more in Ireland’s favour when it came to issues such as Brexit. But it didn’t work, and Pence famously shocked his hosts during a visit to Ireland by saying the government should “negotiate in good faith with prime minister Johnson and work to reach an agreement to respect UK sovereignty”.
And then there was the famous lunch on Capitol Hill when Leo got carried away and tried to curry favour with Trump by letting on he intervened with Clare County Council to sort a planning issue for Trump at his Clare golf resort.
Varadkar’s assessment of the episode, along with his honest recognition of how his impulsive nature gets him into trouble, is telling.
“Of course, I regret it. I was at lunch, got caught up in the moment, made a silly joke about something that was kind of half true that I didn’t really remember anyway. It kind of blew up and marred the visit a little bit.
“Sadly, there are many moments in my political life like that – just some stupid thing that you said or did that if only you could delete that 10 seconds, you would, but there’s no point in beating yourself up about it.”
