DÁIL SKETCH:HAPPY DAYS for the Sir Humphreys of the Civil Service.

Whatever Enda says or does, they can’t be blamed for it.

Everything is all the Taoiseach’s own work – and that of his handsomely remunerated handlers. As of yesterday, there shall be no dumping of responsibility on the mandarins in Merrion Street.

An excuse, if ever there was one, for a run on the Armagnac in the posh clubs around St Stephen’s Green.

The removal of that favoured old political alibi – the controlling civil servant, as epitomised in the political comedy Yes Minister – was a brave move on Enda’s part.

“Sir Humphrey hasn’t visited the Department of An Taoiseach in a very long time, let me assure you of that,” he told the Fianna Fáil leader yesterday, while tying himself up in knots over a commitment in the programme for government which he didn’t seem to know very much about.

Back in those heady post-election days, the much-vaunted programme was unveiled with great fanfare.

“We will overhaul the way politics and government work” promised the incoming coalition and to this end they would “legislate on the issue of cabinet confidentiality”. It’s down in black and white in their joint document.

Fifteen months on and Micheál Martin wanted to know the current state of play regarding that particular commitment.

Where stands the legislation?

“Cabinet confidentiality is provided for in the Constitution and any consideration of legislation would have to take that into account,” replied Enda, reading from the briefest of briefing notes.

Micheál looked bemused.

“Can you give me that again?” So he did.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, Taoiseach, but I think it’s in the programme for government, is it not, that there would be new legislation in relation to cabinet confidentiality? That’s why I’m surprised by the brevity of the response.”

Enda blustered about it being a requirement of all ministers to maintain confidentiality in the national interest.

Micheál could see the controlling hand of the Civil Service at work. “Obviously, Sir Humphrey doesn’t want it,” he remarked, “but I’m wondering where the political commitment is gone.”

Whereupon the Taoiseach made his declaration about his department being a Sir Humphrey-free zone. It’s just Enda and the boys in charge now, which is a comfort.

And then he said he didn’t propose to change the legislation.

The Fianna Fáil leader was nonplussed. Does Enda actually know what’s in his programme for government? The Taoiseach floundered.

“Aw, leave him alone!” cried Mattie McGrath.

Gerry Adams took up the baton. Was he to take it that another commitment from the programme had just been torn up? Enda continued to talk about the Constitution, despite the efforts of the Opposition leaders to pin him down on the legislation he promised.

This was just too much for Micheál.

“It is absolutely incredible that you would come into this House and either feign ignorance of what’s in the programme for government, or not have a clue as to why something as fundamental as cabinet confidentiality was included into it.”

Particularly, the Fianna Fáil leader pointed out, when Fine Gael had been banging on about the damage being done to government openness and transparency by the restrictive confidentiality rule. “You don’t seem to have a notion about it,” he fumed.

This annoyed Enda. He accused Micheál of making “sweeping statements” about people and what they might or might not know. Then he delivered such a stinging put-down that the object of his ire could do nothing else but succumb to a fit of the giggles.

The Taoiseach, gathering up his indignation to replace his lack of information, fixed Micheál with a steely glare. “You’ve certainly become a know-all in every sphere,” he spluttered.

Which is more than you can say for Enda, as his evasive reply to an earlier question seeking his view of gay marriage amply demonstrated.

It was a similar story when the Opposition tried to ascertain information about all the work he says has been done behind the scenes in relation to holding a referendum to abolish the Seanad.

Of course, he wants to tell the House about what has been done, but “I’ll share it at the appropriate time”.

Gerry Adams said he had intended inquiring about legislation on the future of the Seanad, but having listened to the run-around given to Micheál, he decided to quote the classics instead.

“Shakespeare also said: ‘There is a tide in the affairs of men’. One thing I have learned from being here is that when the Taoiseach decides not to answer a question, he doesn’t answer the question.”

So he didn’t even bother asking.

Perhaps Enda was too preoccupied with the news about his Minister for Health’s appearance in Stubbs Gazette to properly address the matters put to him yesterday afternoon.

At the moment, matters may look a bit dicey for James Reilly, but he will give a full explanation when he returns today from Cyprus, promised the Taoiseach.

Although what passes for a full explanation from Enda these days doesn’t always pass muster with those who have to hear it.

Nonetheless, he has full confidence in Doctor Debt, as some took to calling him when they heard about his unsuccessful venture into the nursing home business.

Or not-so-poor old Dicey Reilly. . .