Voices raised at festive Armageddon

CHRISTMAS WAS cancelled in Leinster House last year.

CHRISTMAS WAS cancelled in Leinster House last year.

With the Fianna Fáil government in terminal disarray they decked the halls with fear and loathing – and the annual switching on of the Christmas tree lights was called off.

This time out, with a cheery air of festive Armageddon, the new regime put on its party face, brought back the Santa hats and gave everyone a reason to smile.

The gig was organised by the affable deputy for Tipperary North, Tom Hayes, chairman of the Oireachtas Joint Administration Committee. The honour of pressing the button fell to Ceann Comhairle Seán Barrett.

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Two choirs gathered on a chilly Leinster Lawn to celebrate the official onset of Christmas, and usher Peter Daly, in short jacket and kilt, piped the dignitaries to the tree. All the party leaders mustered: Enda Kenny was a mere 10 minutes late, Eamon Gilmore’s smile threatened to overshadow the fairy lights, and the glare from Gerry Adams’s toothy grin obviated the need for flash photography.

Éamon Ó Cuív stood in for Micheál Martin, while Finian McGrath guffawed tunefully on behalf of the Technical Group.

“I know now what it’s like to be president of the United States,” joked the Ceann Comhairle as he eyed the large red button which would launch the Yuletide option. Given the uncertain economic times, nobody made any cracks about nuclear options.

With the Cathaoirleach of the Seanad Paddy Burke watching, Seán pressed the button, the crowd cheered and the lights went on at the first time of asking.

Oireachtas officials heaved a sigh of relief and the chorus burst into O Holy Nightwith gusto.

“Fall on your knees” they sang, whereupon Enda bustled into view, delighted with himself. He loves these sort of occasions.

A choir from Cashel Community College – they sang for Queen Elizabeth when she visited Tipp – gave excellent voice to a selection of carols.

On the other side of the lawn was the Oireachtas choir, long suffering Leinster House staff augmented by a good turnout of TDs and Senators. “In the battle of choirs, Leinster House won the phone vote. But there’s a steward’s inquiry now because an irregular pattern of repeat voting has shown up from the Kerry area,” quipped one wag.

The staff and politicians belted out White Christmasand got a round of applause. Bad move. There was no stopping them after that. The Ceann Comhairle joined in but refused all entreaties to wear a Santa hat. As did Enda, who grabbed Deirdre Chambers, a long-serving Fine Gael staff member, purloined her songbook and began belting Hark the Herald AngelsSing into the Ceann Comhairle's ear. Poor Seán had been hoping for a brief respite from the caterwauling in the Dáil.

Gilmore smiled grimly but looked mortified. He did his best to sing but you could see he was more concerned about being deafened by Enda.

When finished the Taoiseach triumphantly fist-pumped the air.

Then Peter piped them back into Leinster House. He’s done 15 switch-on ceremonies, but this was his last as he’s set to retire.

Once inside, normal service resumed. The Minister for Finance was in flying form as the Dáil prepared to vote on extending the bank guarantee.

After swiping at Shane Ross, he zoomed in on Richard Boyd Barrett, who “dances around the edge of the great European crisis like a kid at a bonfire, cheering for more flames . . . but he doesn’t really contribute to any solutions in the debate”.

Sinn Féin finance spokesman Pearse Doherty took a pounding when he preferred not to be reminded his party had voted for the guarantee on the night it was proposed by Fianna Fáil.

Noonan remarked he reminded him of Bart Simpson: “We didn’t do it, nobody told us, we weren’t there, it was the other people.”

We were most taken by Ó Cuív’s contribution and his lilting references to “Burton sharing”. Christmas may have arrived and with it a happy period of cross-party collegiality, but does the Minister for Social Protection know about this?

Miriam Lord

Miriam Lord

Miriam Lord is a colour writer and columnist with The Irish Times. She writes the Dáil Sketch, and her review of political happenings, Miriam Lord’s Week, appears every Saturday