SURPRISINGLY enough government tribunals make the dream list of accounts for 20 of Ireland's top PR consultancies. A survey in February's Marketing asked senior executives to list the accounts they would most like to have. Tribunals rate because of the fees. PR people keeping a watching brief in recent times earned about £1,000 a day, which is almost as much as the top barristers.
For a profession with a fair proportion of women, the choices have a distinctly macho feel. Six of the 20 choose NASA as a first-choice client and Paul Allen added that he would have liked to handle Apollo 11 and the moon landing with the signing off line "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind". The Olympics and the World Cup tied for second place, with Ireland's millennium celebrations coming in fourth. Noel Gilmore would like to staff the millennium party on behalf of a leading recruitment agency, who he says, surprisingly, can guarantee to provide them. The FAI and the plans for the Arena stadium in west Dublin came in sixth.
But it's the personal wishes that are most interesting. Colm Cronin of Pembroke Communications says the President, Mrs McAleese needs a fundamental PR makeover. Other PR gurus, but Marketing doesn't say who, would like to handle the suggested visit by Queen Elizabeth, for the challenge of dealing with potential banana-skins or to promote an enforced comeback of Gay Byrne.
Someone else said they'd like the account for the Army, no doubt for the challenge that would present in these hard-of-hearing days. Political accounts nominated included Bill Clinton, the PDs and John F. Kennedy, whom Paul Allen says was the first head of state to give the media a soundbite. Padraig Slattery wants to handle Jackie Healy-Rae, because he would provide "a wonderful opportunity to have your speechwriting qualities recognised on an international stage". Caroline Kennedy would like working on any Virgin brand from planes to condoms, and the Vatican was nominated by John Mahony of Edelman Worldwide because he wants to participate in the recent campaign to define our image of God, the devil and other major figureheads.