DÁIL SKETCH: DON'T MENTIONthe F-word was teh mantra on the Government benches yesterday, writes MICHAEL O'REGAN.
The microphones were switched on. Information was imparted in civilised and politically correct language.
Tánaiste Mary Coughlan, who was taking the Order of Business, glanced at her microphone with a new respect when answering Opposition questions.
The F-word, used by Brian Cowen on Wednesday, was replaced by the less controversial and more upmarket pro forma.
In fact, Coughlan used pro forma no less than four times during the 30-minute Order of Business.
Diligent backbenchers and Opposition deputies, investigating the exact meaning of pro forma, found that it comes from the Latin phrase meaning "as a matter of form".
A more complex definition noted that it "describes a presentation of data, typically financial statements, where the data reflects the world on an 'as if" basis . . . that is, as if the state of the world were different from that which is, in fact, the case. . ." Eamon Gilmore asked about the ripping off of consumers, which had prompted Cowen to use the F-word when asking the Tánaiste to get a handle on the matter and speak to the parties involved.
"I was a little surprised," said Gilmore, "that after 11 years in government, neither the Tánaiste nor the Taoiseach appears to have a handle on the problem of prices."
Gilmore noted that the "translation facilities" were a little inadequate on Wednesday. He wondered if the Tánaiste had a "handle"on the problem yet.
"I met the National Consumer Agency, which was a pro forma meeting to brief the Minister on these issues," she replied.
"I will be issuing a statement arising from that discussion."
Labour's Joan Burton wanted to know about legislation covering management companies.
"There is a commitment to provide legislation and we hope to arrange a pro forma meeting among everyone for Wednesday or Thursday next week," the Tánaiste replied.
Then there is the Companies Consolidation Bill.
"The Minister of State, Deputy John McGuinness, and I will work through that," said the ever-helpful Tánaiste.
"Given that it is an extensive Bill, pro forma we should go through the discussions on that in a different way."
Coughlan is aware that it will be her lot to take the Order of Business on Thursdays.
Taoisigh do not do Thursdays in the Dáil since Bertie Ahern's time.
She was worried yesterday that the House's standing orders were being breached.
"We will have to have some guidelines on the way questions will be answered on Thursdays . . . pro forma we are only supposed to discuss legislation," she said.
The F-word is out. Pro forma is in.
It is the new Government-speak.