Labour's Pat Rabbitte, the sole judge of the 90 poems in the political satire section of the Strokestown International Poetry Festival last weekend, chose 12 entries from the shortlist. Eleven of the 12 poets read their works and the £300 winner was Paddy Bushe of Waterville, Co Kerry. Rabbitte said that to his horror it emerged afterwards that Bushe is a member of the Labour Party but "I swear I was given only numbers and not authors' names!" The winner, Pillow Talk, purports to be Bertie moaning to [ BO]Celia of his troubles. Here's a few of the 18 verses:
Buh when sometimes I find that the whole ting is getting' me
I remember then, Celia, me happy position,
Cos when I try to tink about who'd really threaten me,
The least of me worries is the Opposition.
The Blueshirts and Labour between them, God help us,
Ar a monochrome rainbow of pale purple hue,
And Bruton's quite puzzled about what's left of centre
Since the once red De Rossa whispered "Ruairi, I do"
But what the Coinineach glic, with his eirbeall in airde
(O dem eejits in Labour that gave him the shoe-in!)
While he's polishin' soundbites before Morning Ireland,
He's sharpening a long knife for Ruairi Qu-inn.
Wha' . . . the PDs . . . well maybe in public they praise us,
But with only five TDs, ya wouldn't believe me . . .
Wha' . . . They've only got four . . . O merciful jaysus,
I automatically counted in Charlie McCreevy!