The subject of iodine tablets made a testimonial appearance and the Mitchell brothers did their best to perturb a Taoiseach reminiscing about a 'golden era', writes Frank McNally
What was the last full day of the 28th Dáil took on a suitably apocalyptic note when the Minister for Health was questioned on the delay in issuing iodine tablets to the public.
Mr Martin said plans to post the tablets to every home were now being finalised, leaving Labour's Liz McManus to wonder if the life-preserving envelopes would carry "Vote Fianna Fáil" stamps. Either way, the iodine pills are unlikely to arrive in time to protect the public from today's dissolution of the Dáil and the resultant exodus of TDs, which by yesterday evening was already emptying Leinster House.
People are advised to remain indoors for the next three weeks and await news of wind conditions, predicted to be severe as the campaign gathers momentum. Babies are at particular risk of contamination, as usual, but not even farm animals will be safe as the highly media-active candidates roam the country in search of photo opportunities.
By polling day it should be safe to re-emerge, unless you happen to be an Orthodox Jew. In another 11th-hour controversy yesterday, Fine Gael's Gay Mitchell asked the Taoiseach if he was aware that May 17th was the start of the Festival of Shavuoth, and that conservative Jews would be precluded from voting.
The spring festival is marked by readings of the biblical Book of Ruth and by decoration of the home "with greens," a worrying omen for the Taoiseach should he press ahead with that date. But the Fine Gael TD, who belongs to the ultra-unorthodox Brotherhood of Mitchell sect (membership: 2), failed to ruffle Mr Ahern, who was in generally confident mood on the morning's Order of Business debate.
In a reading from the Book of Bertie, he declared that the past five years would be in time be looked upon as a "golden era" for the people of Ireland.
The object of his lesson, Michael Noonan, disagreed, and by Question Time, the Fine Gael leader had turned his back on the golden era in favour of a Gold Cup afternoon at Punchestown.
In his absence (his spokesman explained that he had attended many Taoiseach's Question Times when the Taoiseach wasn't there), it was left to another member of the Mitchells, Jim, to deputise. Ruairí Quinn did turn up, but at 3 p.m., apart from those two and Mr Ahern, the only other politician in the chamber was Fianna Fáil veteran Mattie Brennan, retiring at this election and watching from the inside for perhaps the last time.
Soon afterwards, Mr Quinn and the Labour party departed for the launch of their election centre nearby, and Leinster House was even emptier.Late in the evening the Taoiseach returned to the chamber to confirm that he was going to the country. Many of his Dail colleagues were on the way there already.