Tired of fighting the law, Utah's bigamists are now fighting perceptions, writes John Pomfret
In her battle to legalise polygamy, the only thing Valerie hasn't revealed is her surname. The mother of eight has been on US TV; her photo, along with those of her two "sister-wives" has graced the cover of a glossy magazine dedicated to "today's plural marriages". She has been prodded about her sex life: "He rotates. It's easy - just one, two, three."
Quizzed about her decision to share a husband with two other women: "You really have a good frame of reference when you marry a man who already has two wives." Asked what it's like to live in a house with 21 children: "Remodelling a kitchen, that's no small feat with three wives and a husband involved."
Valerie and others among the estimated 40,000 men, women and children in polygamous communities are part of a new movement to decriminalise bigamy. Taking tactics from the gay-rights movement, polygamists have reframed their struggle, choosing in interviews to de-emphasise their religious beliefs and focus on their desire to live "in freedom". In recent months, polygamy activists have held rallies, appeared on national news TV shows and lobbied legislators.
The efforts are paying off. Utah's attorney general, Mark Shurtleff, no longer prosecutes bigamy between consenting adults, though it is a felony. Shurtleff and his staff have established an organisation, Safety Net, to bring together representatives from at least five polygamous communities and law enforcement officers at monthly meetings. Shurtleff says his office now treats bigamy between consenting adults much like fornication or adultery, laws about which are still on Utah's books. "The thinking is this: This is a big group of people. They are not going away. You can't incarcerate them all."
What Shurtleff has vowed to do in Utah, rather than enforcing the bigamy code, is go after members of polygamist groups who break other laws, especially involving children. In April, Washington County prosecutors in Utah charged Warren Jeffs (50) the head of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, with two counts of rape as an accomplice on suspicion that he forced a 14-year-old girl to marry her cousin, who was over 18. Jeffs, who was caught in Las Vegas in August, faces similar charges in Arizona.
Shurtleff has secured commitments from four polygamist groups that they would stop forcing underage girls into marriage, end the widespread practice of welfare fraud and create a more favourable environment for women in plural marriages to report domestic violence and child abuse. Polygamy has deep roots in Utah's history and in the history of the Church of the Latter-Day Saints. Many mainstream Mormons once believed, and many fundamentalists still believe, that only men in plural marriages will get to heaven. But, to ensure Utah would get statehood, the Mormon church swore off polygamy in the 1890s. Even so, polygamous communities continued in the American west, and in Canada and Mexico. In recent years, authorities in the state adopted a "don't ask, don't tell" stance, Shurtleff says. One reason was that the politically powerful church, while officially opposing polygamy, did not want the bad press enforcement might bring. Another reason was that law enforcers were worried isolated polygamist communities would erupt in violence if raided.
Bonnie, a twenty-something in a polygamous marriage with husband, Nat, and his first wife and their three children, are members of the Apostolic United Brethren, which says it has 7,500 members across the west and in Mexico. Bonnie's family lives in a suburb containing about 50 houses - all inhabited by members of the sect. Bonnie's family has been polygamous since the 1860s. Nat was raised in a monogamous household but converted to Mormonism and decided to become a fundamentalist and a polygamist. Bonnie said that what attracted her to polygamy was the chance it gave her to bond with women as well as with her husband. "I always had an inner feeling that I'd be a plural wife," she said. "I was very excited to join his family. I had a really good feeling with his first wife." Nat said he needed to be convinced. Far from the stereotype of the patriarch, he appears bookish and perhaps a tad meek. "Usually, the women tend to be the biggest advocates of this way of life and men enter it more timidly," he said. "If you are going to do it right, it's a huge responsibility."