E-mails read out in court revealed Joe O'Reilly was "repulsed" by his dead wife and wanted to separate from her, a jury in the Central Criminal Court heard yesterday.
It was the 13th day of the trial of Mr O'Reilly (35), of Lambay View, Baldarragh, Naul, Co Dublin, who has pleaded not guilty to murdering his wife and mother of their two children, Rachel O'Reilly (30), at the family home on October 4th, 2004.
Det Garda Gerard Keane told prosecuting counsel Dominic McGinn BL that he took possession of Mr O'Reilly's laptop from his work in Viacom in the Bluebell industrial estate.
He then downloaded its contents onto CD, consisting of more than 9,000 e-mails or e-mail fragments, and examined them.
He said the e-mails were divided into four folders and that one particular folder, marked "softball" related mostly to "personal matters". Another folder, labelled "family", related to family e-mails.
One exchange of e-mails between Mr O'Reilly and his sister, Ann O'Reilly, discussed a visit to a social worker the day before.
The court has already heard evidence that an anonymous caller complained to social services about Rachel O'Reilly's handling of the children.
The group of five e-mails were dated June 9th, four months before the murder.
In one of the e-mails, Mr O'Reilly suggested this caller was Joe O'Reilly's mother, also called Ann O'Reilly.
The first e-mail, sent to Mr O'Reilly at 10.16am, under the subject "Hiya Joseph", from his sister Ann, asked Mr O'Reilly how he was.
"Hiya, I'm just asking you how you got on yesterday? How are you? Concerned banana! Wanted to leave you alone yesterday to get your head together but trust me, I held back on calling or mailing you. Let me know how things are and if you need anything."
The second e-mail was a reply from Mr O'Reilly to his sister at 10.41am.
It said: "Hiya Ann. In a nutshell, it was a big steaming pile of sh***. They told us both that shouting at the kids was okay, 'sure we all do it'. Hitting kids is okay in the eyes of the law, as again 'we all do it'. They never come out and visit the homes of kids reported as being abused unless the allegation is of a sexual nature or after several cases of non-accidental hospitalisations. Could it have been any worse? Yes! Rachel is a 'good mother' because she admits to having problems dealing with the kids and confessed to shouting at them on a daily basis.
"There is some Mickey Mouse course run once a year to help parents cope with 'difficult kids' and 'parenting difficulties', and Rachel has volunteered to go on one. She was also playing the home help card but didn't get anywhere.
"The best I got was a commitment to getting the district nurse pay a visit, as Adam is due his development check-up. Should have got it last year, but in the words of his mother, 'you know yourself, what with the house move and so on, it's easy to forget these things'.
"Anyway, I gave them the go-ahead to drop out whenever they want to see their kids. Hopefully the district nurse will see her at her best, or else the state of the house that the lazy c*nt leaves it in, etc. Positives? Very few. At least it's on record that I don't need to attend the courses. I've no issues in dealing with the kids, and the complaint had nothing to do with me.
"To answer your question as to how I am, well, to be honest, I wasn't expecting much as you were no doubt aware, so I wasn't too shocked with the apathy displayed by our wonderful child protection people.
"That said, I think matters may get worse, as she told me in the car park that 'I knew you were over-reacting going on to me about shouting at the kids. Did you hear them? Everybody does it, and I am a good mother.' Instead of giving her a slap on the wrist, it appears that they've forgiven her and patted her on the back for a job well done.
"Did you get to talk to Derek by the way? Had to physically restrain him on Saturday night, not good. He's too much of a hot-head, but that said you really couldn't blame him.
"Adam was reefed up by the arm and dragged to bed, and she nearly tore Luke's ear off putting his pyjamas top on over his head. As usual I had a right go at her, but as usual, by that stage the damage is already done.
"Shouldn't really complain though, she is a 'wonderful mother' in the eyes of the State. Joe.
"PS: Interesting choice of terminology used by the social worker, everything was 'Rachel is the main care giver' and I was the secondary care giver. I'm already Mr weekend custody in the eyes of the State. Doesn't bode too well, does it? Oh, nearly forgot, the case is now closed to their satisfaction."
A third e-mail, from Ann O'Reilly to Joe, again sent under the same subject line, at 11.01am, said: "Well at least you get the district nurse coming out on unexpected visits - that can't be too bad really. Dan was talking to her yesterday and she told him she now counts to 10 and examines the situation with the kids, so let's hope something good even if it's little will come of this.
"So you're going for a meal on Friday night with her, should be good fun, all nice and romantic - not. Try again to talk to her about her lack of motherly instincts. Have you told her she's none? Does she admit to it? Try a bit harder to talk to her about it. Tell her everything. Be open and honest.
"I know I'd keep on trying constantly. I wouldn't give her ears a break from the subject, otherwise, she's just going to keep on living in cloud cuckoo land.
"Did Derek say anything to Rachel about her man-handling Adam and Luke? Ma was very worried about yesterday. If you get a minute, could you ring her and put her mind at rest? I went straight into Ma's yesterday to see what the story was and she was saying that Rachel came in and was all over Adam and just blanked Luke. F***ing bitch. That hurt Ma. She wanted so much to say something but didn't. Anyway, Rachel stayed for chips, eggs and bread and was very calm and happy so Mum was left thinking.
"Call her, she's our Mammy and does really worry about us. Don't let on that I told you, you know what she's like. So do I still have to be on my best around Rachel by keeping my mouth shut? If I see her hit or man-handle the kids can I speak up?"
At 3.42pm, a reply from Mr O'Reilly said: "Hiya, so she now counts to 10, eh? Believe that and you're not my sister! Where the hell did you hear I was going for a night out with that c*nt? A meal? I'd rather choke. Absolutely no way, never, not happening.
"To quote your good self Ann, never look back, only look forward, eh?
"Just to drill the point home, me plus Rachel plus marriage equals over. I keep telling her straight as you like exactly what I think of her mothering instincts. She's under no illusions there. Do I tell her at every hand's turn? Yes. In fact, to be even a little fair, I'm very aware that I'm over-critical at times, although I don't feel too guilty about it to be honest, as she repulses me.
"Derek didn't say anything, I wouldn't let him. Bad enough I have to bite my tongue and restrain myself, don't need him losing it. Not for her sake, but the kids wouldn't like seeing their mother abused by their uncle Derek, and I don't want his halo around them diminished in any way.
You're getting competition Ann! That's where you need to be careful. When Ma reported the incident that brought about yesterday's farce, it very nearly came out as to who did the reporting. You are prime suspect number one, you know it. By all means drag her fat ass outside and kick it into the middle of next week, but not in front of the boys, and don't leave any marks that can and will be used against you in a court of law. As I've said repeatedly, there is no talking to her. She doesn't listen.
"Mind you there's a lot of that about. I told you and I told Ma that this would amount to nothing, and you both knew better than me and went through the usual series of questions. I'm not having a go Ann, but it really wound me up last time, as I go through every angle I can with the boys before I make a move. Yesterday proved yet again the injustices that exist in this country.
"As a mother you can shout and scream and smack almost as much as you want to, once you admit to having a bit of a problem and then volunteer to a lip service parents' course. Maybe now you'll both listen to what I have to say and not go about with your heads in the sand. Being a father in this country, no matter how good, will land you with weekend visitations and not much else.
"You know of one case where full custody was given, that's great, and good for him. I know dozens where it went the other way. Yesterday was my first personal indication of how much I will lose if I don't try different angles. After all, I'm only the secondary care giver.
"I do appreciate your support, and I know the boys mean the world to you, they are my life and I am nothing without them. Adam was the one singled out as the child whom the concerns were about. More bad news for Luke, as proved yesterday, in your own words and observations.
"Ann, there is only so much crap that kid can deal with, and my patience is running on empty. You saw first hand the number she did on him before, I'd rather die than see him go through that again, he won't go through that again, end of story.
"Be as good as you can around Rachel for now, but tell me everything you see, do not hold back. If you see her being excessive, then step in. I want to know as much as possible, and I can't be there all the time.
"Ann, you're my sister, my blood, and she's not. What you tell me will not be questioned. You have carte blanche visitation rights to my house, and to my kids. In fact, the more you're around them, the better. Same with Dan, but I don't want him knowing too much.
"I plan on calling Ma later tonight. I know she's worried, but I couldn't call last night as I didn't know if she still had a visitor and her family.
"The 'world's greatest Mum' is out tonight, getting laid with a bit of luck, so I'll have time to talk to Ma properly when the boys are asleep. I'll be home in Ma's on Friday with the boys, so I'll see you then? Thanks for the concern, sorry for the long e-mail, Joe."
The final e-mail, a further reply from his sister, was sent at 4pm.
It read: "Your meal is probably a surprise. Well of course it is - she got Dan to book it last night for yous when yous were staying in Ma's, but she asked me last week if she ever wanted to venture up to Dunleer and eat out could she stay with me? So she knows the marriage is over then and it's a divorce. What does she say to that? Maybe that's why she's taking you out on Friday. Say nothing.
"I do get it now. You're f***ed as a father in this dump. Ask her to move abroad. I really don't how you're going to get out of this one. So when are you filing for legal separation then? If you want, I'll kidnap you and the kids on Friday night before she has a chance to get a hold of you, we could go on a trip in my car? Or you could just go with her and ignore her the whole night or stare at sexy ladies."
The trial before Mr Justice Barry White and a jury of nine men and two women continues.
FROM THE SECOND E-MAIL
"Anyway, I gave them the go-ahead to drop out whenever they want to see their kids. Hopefully the district nurse will see her at her best or else the state of the house that the lazy c*nt leaves it in, etc. Positives? Very few. At least it's on record that I don't need to attend the courses. I've no issues in dealing with the kids, and the complaint had nothing to do with me."
FROM THE FOURTH E-MAIL
"To quote your good self Ann, never look back, only look forward, eh? Just to drill the point home, me plus Rachel plus marriage equals over. I keep telling her straight as you like exactly what I think of her mothering instincts. She's under no illusions there. Do I tell her at every hand's turn? Yes."