DÁIL SKETCH/Marie O'Halloran: It may be the national parliament, but yesterday the Dáil was compared to the Abbey and a crèche and deputies as hyenas and windbags.
And while the show might have started as a robust comedy, the banter quickly deteriorated into bitter exchanges.
Such was the heckling and interruptions when the Minister for Defence, Mr Michael Smith, attempted to defend the Government's stance on e-voting that he sat down abruptly and cursed. It might have been a mutter, but it was overheard: "No, let them f**k it, we'll say no more."
The Opposition started at him from the moment he stood to answer Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny's questions about crime, the citizens' reluctance to venture into Dublin city centre after dark, and the lack of gardaí apart from "when we have visitors from Europe".
Mr Smith defended the numbers. "Garda strength is at an all-time high," he said. "So is the population," quipped Fine Gael's Damien English.
Templemore is operating at full stretch to train gardaí, but "there is no room for complacency", said the Minister. "The master of the understatement," said Fine Gael's Jim O'Keeffe.
"There are problems, but the greater part of the city is free of crime and people are free to walk about," said Mr Smith.
"Where does the Minister live?" said Labour's Joan Burton.
But when Pat Rabbitte rose to quiz the Minister about e-voting the comedy became drama.
Could the Minister name a single private company that would continue to employ a manager who frittered away €52 million? The electronic voting machines should be stored in Punchestown, and the Minister for the Environment if he was free "could act as security man".
The investment was a long-term one, insisted Mr Smith.
"You wouldn't get this in the Abbey," said the Labour leader.
"You'd have to pay for it there," quipped Fine Gael's Michael Ring. "We're paying for it here - €52 million and rising," replied Mr Rabbitte.
The Ceann Comhairle reminded deputies that they were not in a crèche. When Mr Smith refused to answer further, Pat Rabbitte accused the Minister of being a "windbag".
"If the laughing hyenas surrounding Deputy Rabbitte had been quiet, you might have got an answer," retorted Minister for Communications, Mr Dermot Ahern.
Another great day at the national parliament - or should that be theatre?