Dáil Sketch: First day of term and droll Phil Hogan and X-factor man Finian McGrath posed obediently for a photograph, writes Kathy Sheridan.
"Back to school," grinned Phil bravely.
"Even though we were here all summer," interjected Crooner McGrath primly.
A chastened Irish Times crept away, humming Knock, Knock, Knockin' on Heaven's Door.
Meanwhile, Gerry Adams wiped everyone's eye by gliding into Leinster House an hour before the Dáil show got on the road.
He got the media scrum, amplified by lads from Kilmacud's St Benildus school diverted from a museum trip and half a dozen groups protesting about development, pensions and homelessness.
But most of the protesting came from the poor deputies, scorched by the media's tiresome focus on the length of the hols.
Bertie managed to get it on the record that he had taken less than the month. He had been on to Noel Dempsey about the Rossport Five "throughout the whole of July and since August 25th".
Pat Rabbitte remarked trenchantly that "you wouldn't have found it in a slate factory in Dickens's time".
Oops. Sorry. Must have nodded off for a while there.
He was actually talking about the Filipino employee of Irish Ferries expected to live on a euro an hour.
After nearly three months out of the place, and with just 34 working days to Christmas, the only man around Leinster House prepared to admit that life was really rather pleasant was Peter Kelly. He was absolutely delighted with his holiday. No buts, no caveats. Very refreshing.
Even so, Dr Jerry Cowley was missing Mayo already. In what a few Government lads saw as a cynical manoeuvre, his loud, rambling protest about the Rossport Five inevitably got him kicked out of the Chamber and another few days' furlough.
"G'wan, y'aul hypocrite," shouted an FFer.
"You got what you wanted now," bellowed another as the martyr was led up the steps.
And through the melee sounded the concise, crystal appeal from Joe Higgins to Bertie: "Will you pick up the phone to Shell?"
This was the day's set-piece, the big, start-of-term argy-bargy. It attracted all of 14 dutiful FF backbenchers. That was one more than the senior and junior Ministers lining out to support the Taoiseach, which brought the FF total in the Chamber to 27 - 27 out of 80.
Mind you, the PDs managed to get through the business without a sign of Mary Harney or Michael McDowell.
Lest a quick nap hadn't already occurred to observers, various speakers mentioned sleep.
Joe Higgins accused the Taoiseach of being asleep since 1989 - "as soundly as your junior Minister last Tuesday week". Conor Lenihan smiled gamely.
"Ye'll have plenty of time to sleep," roared an FFer in what passes for repartee around here.
Bertie must have felt a trifle wistful when Deputy Higgins felt obliged to remind him that he wasn't the prime minister of the Outer Hebrides. Stornoway can be a grand place to get away from it all.